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Untangling a lock of hair from Jake’s clasp, Inessa flinched but confirmed nonetheless, “She’s good to us.”
Aela scowled. “Your definition of good is different than mine.”
“No, it isn’t. You just haven’t been around her long enough to see. Plus, you’re—” I winced.
“Rebellious? Opinionated?” Aela threw in, but she was smirking as she did so.
“Yes.” I blew out a breath. “I feel like Mom died yesterday. I feel this hate inside me for who took her from me like it’s still a raw wound. But Lena did that, and I love her.
“Jake’s teething, and she gave me a rusk recipe that I can’t find. I want to ask her for it but I can’t.
“Jake wants to go to her, because she’s his grammy, and I don’t want her anywhere around him.” I covered my face with my hands. “I want to cry all the time, and I want Finn to comfort me, but then I remember what he kept from me. So I argue. And he’s being so patient. So, so…reasonable.”
“Being reasonable isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” Savannah said carefully.
“My husband isn’t reasonable. He’s fair, but…” I shook my head. “It’s difficult to explain.”
Camille reached forward and snagged my hand in hers. “Try, Aoife, it might make you feel better.”
I stared into her kind eyes and clung to her fingers. I didn’t know her as well as her sister, but I was grateful for her presence in my life.
All of these women had been a part of my world for such a short space of time, but we’d endured so much together.
We were O’Donnellys.
Through and through.
“I keep pushing his buttons,” I whispered. “I say things I know will piss him off. I—”
“You want a reaction out of him,” Savannah inserted softly.
“Yes.” I clung to her words as much as I clung to Camille’s hand. “I want a reaction from him. I just don’t know what kind of reaction I want.”
“Do you want to break up with him?” Inessa questioned. “Is that it? You want him to throw in the towel?”
The pain her words stirred in me was akin to the raw agony I felt over losing my mom.
“No,” I ground out on an agonized breath. “He can’t leave me. He’s not allowed to do that.”
Camille’s voice was gentle. “She didn’t ask that, Aoife. She asked ifyouwant to break up withhim?”
My head whipped from side to side. “No.”
“If you wanna stay with the jackass,” Aela mumbled, “then you just have to ride this out. Men do stupid shit all the time. Granted, nothing on this level. This is a grade A fuck up, but if you keep pushing him, you’ll get that reaction you want out of him.”
Her words were a warning, and I knew she was right.
I plucked at my bottom lip, muttering, “He’d never leave me. He’d never let me go.”
Aela shrugged. “Then is it worth pushing for a reaction you won’t be able to control?”
Savannah took a deep sip of her mimosa. “How did it feel to drive over her flowerbeds?”
I stared at her. “Satisfying.”
For a second, I thought about Finn’s other suggestions, but I knew I couldn’t go through with them. A part of me wanted to set fire to the dinner table, after I’d thrown all her food onto the floor, but it was wiser to leave.
To head back home.
