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I narrowed my eyes on her. “Yes.”
“Then what I do or do not do with myself is none of your business.”
“Youaremy business, Aoife,” I rumbled huskily, staring down into those eyes that used to look at me like I set the stars in the fucking night sky and now looked at me as if I were a stranger. “That you could put yourself at risk when Jake and I can’t function without you—”
“I did what I thought was right.”
And that was what terrified me.
How could she think that path was the right one?
Mouth tight, I informed her, “I’m getting a vasectomy this week.”
Her eyes flared wide. “You wouldn’t do that. Jake’s not supposed to be an only child!”
“No, baby, this proves that heis. I’m not putting you through this again. Even if the pregnancy was viable, I’m not watching you suffer for nine more goddamn months.
“Watching you sitting with your back on the floor and your legs against the wall to keep our kid inside you… I won’t let you go through that again. Jake is our blessing. We need to accept that and move on.”
“If you have a vasectomy, Finn, Iwillfile for a divorce.”
I’d set the gauntlet down.
She’d just picked it back up and she’d slapped me in the fucking face with it.
For a second, her words throbbed throughout the room, and as I stared down at her, seeing the tears in her eyes, but the otherwise frigid expression on her face, the gaunt cheeks, the shadows beneath her lashes, how her lips were colorless, how her shirt hung loose on her, I took note of it all and I weighed my words.
I would never let her divorce me.
Ever.
I’d get it tied up in court so fucking fast she’d be stuck with my married name until Jake was eighteen, and by then, I’d have wormed myself into her good graces once again.
There was no way that this was the end of our journey.
There was no way that this was where we threw in the towel.
That didn’t make it any easier to say, “To protectyou, there’s nothing I won’t do, Aoife. You want a divorce so badly, then I’ll get you a good attorney.
“Instead of threatening me with something neither of us want, maybe you should realize what you’re asking for—”
Before I could finish, her hand snapped out, and with the stark white fading beneath the bright spots of cherry on her cheeks, I knew she’d been about to slap me.
Not allowing her to let her outrage wither away at her control, I caught her wrist.
“I took that from you before, Aoife. I deserved it. I donotdeserve it now. You will not lay another hand on me in anger, just as I would never dream of treating you in that way.”
She dragged her hand out of mine and held it to her chest as if it were red hot.
Guilt flickered in her eyes, and she whispered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“Youdidmean to,” I said coldly, watching the heat of her shame burn color into her cheeks. “And you know why? Because giving up onusis enough to make you violent. Just like it is with me. You think I’m not furious that you’d threaten me with a divorce? You’d be wrong.
“You do not get to give up on us,” I bit off, “and you do not get to use our family planning as an excuse to break us apart when having another child couldkillyou.”
Hope stirred in my chest when she didn’t interrupt me.
Praying that she realized I was right, I made to continue, but I heard the buzz from the elevator, and it stopped me in my tracks.
