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Sixteen
Lena
“Son,I don’t really have time for this.”
“Why?” Declan grumbled. “This is important. Hasn’t Conor told you about what’s happening in a week?”
“No.” My voice dropped an octave, but it couldn’t be helped.
Guilt chased the denial because I’d been avoiding Conor since Christmas.
I knew that made me a horrendous mother, but I was that already. I’d been that for years.
Too many bruises, too much blood shed, all under my watch.
“No? Why not? I thought he was going to drag you in to help?”
Agitated, I scratched the side of my neck. “Things have been hectic on my end.”
“Since when? You never said anything on Sunday.”
“Well, I’m not one to broadcast all my ailments over dinner,” I snapped, aggrieved by his persistence. “Michael’s in the hospital.”
“Michael? Your driver?”
“Yes.” I stepped out of the elevator as it opened up onto the floor where Michael was being treated. Jamie, my new guard, fell into line behind me. “He’s been told there’s nothing more they can do for him.”
“Shit,” Declan rasped, and I didn’t chide him for cursing. Instead, I closed my eyes.
Two guards of mine, two favorites, were going to be lost to me within twelve months.
Two.
Building up a rapport with men who put their lives on the line to protect you took time, and I’d lost Rogan when some Italian soldiers had killed him as he protected my grandson and Declan’s girlfriend. Now, I was going to lose Michael.
“I’m sorry, Ma,” Declan muttered, and I heard his genuine grief for me.
Because I needed to be strong and breaking down in a hospital corridor wasn’t a sign of weakness I could allow, I moved over to a window and stared out of the glass so no one could see my expression.
“Does Da know?”
Aidan was in a world of his own right now, and I could easily understand that.
Christmas…
Conor…
It was much too much and Aidan felt things more than most.
Only Finn and Junior were privy to our private shame—that we’d tried to take our lives. That the guilt and the horror were something we were incapable of handling.
That was why I couldn’t look my boy in the eye.
I’d let them all down by allowing Aidan to make men out of them by bruising them with his might, but knowing that Conor had been molested…
There were no words.
None.
