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Oh. ‘Is this because of Ross?’
‘Indirectly.’ Cal gave a tired sigh and pushed himself up to a seated position, leaning back against the desk. His dinner would have gone cold by now, Heather thought as she watched him. He’d be hungry later. But this was more important.
‘Because I slept with him first?’ she pressed.
She hadn’t thought that Cal was the sort of guy to judge her for her past behaviour, but she supposed it was a kind of unusual situation. She couldn’t blame him for finding it confusing—she certainly did.
‘No! Not because...’ He swallowed so hard she could see his throat move. ‘It’s just...the situation.’
‘Yeah...’
She knew what he meant, she thought. After all, hadn’t she been stamping down her feelings for Cal for weeks now, for exactly the same reason? All this could lead to was scandal and gossip and talk. The situation was so far from ideal it was laughable. Who got pregnant by an earl who inconveniently died and then fell in love with his brother?
Except...
‘Except if it wasn’t for this situation I never would have met you,’ she said, and the hope in Cal’s eyes gave her all the courage she needed to go on. ‘Do you think I haven’t regretted that night in the bar a million times?’ she asked. ‘When I found out Ross was married I was physically sick—did I tell you that? I’ve spent my whole life trying to avoid a situation like this—well, not exactly like this, because I never even imagined that this was an option for someone like me—but avoiding scandal and talk. I’ve tried so hard to do the right thing—always. For my dad, yes, but for me, too. Because it mattered to me. And then I let my guard down for one night and—’
She broke off, shook her head and started again.
‘The point is—yes, I made mistakes. And, yes, I regret them—in a way. Except not completely. Not any more.’
‘Why?’ Cal’s voice was dry and cracked, as if he wasn’t sure he could take the answer but felt compelled to ask the question anyway.
‘Because if I hadn’t met Ross that night I wouldn’t have my baby growing inside me right now—a baby that I already love so much. If I hadn’t come here to Lengroth to find Ross I’d never have met Daisy and Ryan, whom I adore. And...’
Could she say it? She had to, Heather knew. This had been building for too long, drawing them together while forcing them apart all at the same time.
‘And I never would have met you,’ she said.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CAL STARED UP at Heather’s beautiful face, trying to imagine a world in which he didn’t know her. Didn’t want her.
He couldn’t.
If she was just beautiful, or sexy, that would be one thing. He could resist that kind of charm when he wanted to—which, to be honest, wasn’t all that often. Under these circumstances, it would be easy.
But Heather was more than that. She’d worked her way into his life—and into the castle—so deeply that he couldn’t imagine her not being there. She was his friend, as well as the most desirable woman he’d ever met. She was good and kind and all the things that Lengroth Castle normally killed.
Daisy and Ryan needed her in their lives. Which meant he couldn’t wreck this by giving in to his lust. Except it wasn’t just his lust they were dealing with here, apparently.
‘What is it?’
His face must have given him away, because in a moment she was sitting back down beside him, her expression concerned.
‘Heather... I need you to not take this the wrong way.’
‘Suggesting that there is a very wrong way for me to take it?’ Heather said.
Cal resisted the urge to wince. ‘Yeah, you might.’
Heather folded her arms across her chest. Cal forced himself not to stare at the neckline of her summer dress, or the wonderful things the action was doing for her breasts.
Are they always that perfectly plump? Or is it the pregnancy?
Maybe he would find out one day. But not until after this damn summer was over.
‘I’m listening,’ she said, and Cal tried to find his train of thought again.
‘As much as I loved kissing you—and, trust me, I really did—we can’t do it again.’ It was as simple and frustrating as that.
