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“This dinner was delicious,” Damien announces after wiping his mouth with his napkin and tossing it onto his empty plate. I wish I had more of an appetite because the food was delicious, but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about what was going to happen after dinner.
“Thank you, Damien. It’s always nice to hear that.”
“I love your cooking, honey,” Dave interjects, and part of me can’t help but wonder if his lack of compliments toward her is why she seeks out validation by sleeping with her husband’s friends in front of him.
Dear Lord, Charlotte. You are not Dr. Phil, and it is not your job to understand what is going on here.
“Yes, Erin. It was delicious, but I’m afraid I ate too many hors d'oeuvres and couldn’t possibly eat another bite,” I say as I push my plate away. When I returned from the bathroom, I kept stuffing my face with food to keep myself from blurting out that I wouldn’t be having sex with any of them. It was a difficult task, and now I’m afraid that I might actually get the runs from all of the weird things I consumed.
“Well, there’s still dessert to look forward to,” Erin announces as she licks her lips and eyes me from her spot on the table.
I reach below the table and squeeze Damien’s thigh as he chuckles beside me. I’m not sure if he actually believes me or not, but he’s definitely finding my uneasiness hilarious.
“So sorry, you guys, but we really have to run,” Damien says, winking over at me. The death glare I give him in return has him biting his lip to stifle his laughter.
“So soon?”
“Yeah, Charlotte has the runs.” My mouth falls open, but then Damien corrects himself. “I mean, Charlotte has to run in the morning. Training for that 10K, right babe?” The desire to grab my fork and stab it into his thigh is overwhelming.
“A 10K? That’s ambitious, Charlotte,” Erin replies.
“Oh, thank you. It wasn’t something I agreed to at first, but Damien convinced me to do it. Just like I convinced him to shave his balls.”
Damien chokes on his drink as I pat him playfully on the back. “What?”
“I meant, chase his balls. He’s been volunteering at the recreation center by his place, which is where I signed up for the run, and he’s been helping with the soccer clinic on Saturday mornings. Lots of ball chasing going on.”
Damien narrows his eyes at me. “Oh yeah. It’s a blast.”
“Well, perhaps we’ll just have to do this some other time so you guys can stay for all of the festivities,” Dave suggests as he stands from his spot at the table and the rest of us follow suit.
“That sounds great,” Damien agrees. “I’ll let you know our schedule.”
“We are very busy in the next few months though…remember, my parents’ wedding anniversary trip, honey,” I say through clenched teeth as Damien wraps his arm around my waist.
“Oh, an anniversary trip? Where to?” Erin asks.
“Hawaii. My parents are celebrating thirty years of marriage by renewing their vows. It’s a big weeklong celebration.”
The girls awe. “That sounds amazing. We should do something like that, Dave.”
“Yes, Dear.” He winks over at Damien and me, but my skin continues crawling the longer that we stay here.
Eager to leave, I get the ball rolling again. “Well, thank you again for a lovely evening.”
“It was our pleasure, Charlotte. And Damien,” Dave says, turning to him, “don’t let me down with this account.”
“That’s the goal, sir. I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you outside of work, though. It’s good to know you have faith in me.”
“Have a great rest of your evening, you two. I know we will definitely miss you.” Erin waves as we turn to leave.
Choking down bile, I smile and let Damien lead me by the hand to the door. And once it’s shut behind us, I feel like I can finally breathe. “Oh my God.”
Damien laughs as he fishes his keys out of his pocket. “I really think you’re overexaggerating, Charlotte.”
“Fine. Don’t believe me. But my gut was telling me something was going on that we were not completely aware of, and I’ve learned over the years to listen to that womanly intuition. She rarely steers me wrong,” I say as I point back to the house we just walked out of.
Damien follows my hand, and when we both look up at the window, we see Erin holding a giant pink dildo in her hand as she shuts the drapes. Damien spins back to face me, both of our eyes wide.
“See?”
“Holy fuck!”
“That could have been put in your ass, Damien! I’ll take that apology any time now, thank you.”
He stands there, still shocked by what he saw. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look Dave in the eyes again.”
Patting him on the shoulder, I lead him down the steps to his car. “I think it’s safe to say neither of us will ever be the same after this.”
* * *
