AllFreeNovel
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“Do you honestly think you’re not right for Damien?”
I stare down at my lap. “I don’t know anything right now,” I say, taking the easy way out instead of going down that rabbit hole again. My entire relationship with him has been flashing back in memories for the past two days. I thought I was in love with him, and then everything changed in the blink of an eye.
“Well, he looked pretty distraught on the video. I kept rewatching it, trying to pick up on more clues of how this started,” Noelle says with a shrug.
“Of course you guys watched it.” I take a long drink of my champagne as my buzz starts to develop.
“Hell yeah, we did. Our best friend got her sixty seconds of fame and we wanted to make sure that you were portrayed accurately.” She leans forward in her seat. “You looked fabulous in your dress, by the way.”
“Ha. Thanks. Only now I’m just a joke. My boss even asked me to stay home this week until it blows over.”
My friends all share a look before Penelope pipes up. “Um, Charlotte, you are not a joke. Have you seen how many views it’s gotten?”
“Um, yeah. Three million as of yesterday…”
“Girl, you’re up to ten million today.”
“What?” I almost drop my glass of champagne, but quickly recover. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Penelope nods. “And what’s even more impressive than that are the comments.”
“The comments?”
“You really haven’t been looking?”
“Um, no. The last thing I wanted to do was let everybody’s ridicule go to my head and make me feel even lower than I already do right now.”
Penelope stands from her chair and comes to sit next to me on the couch, opening up her phone and clicking on the video in question. “Look at what people are saying. You’re not just famous because you blew up at a wedding. You’re famous because people related to you.”
I take the phone from her hands and start reading through the comments.
“I thought fake relationships only existed in romance novels!”
“I sympathize with this so much! My mother keeps pressuring me to find a husband, but I’m not just settling for some guy to make her happy.”
“This just goes to show how much pressure there is on women to have it all. But whose timeline are we on? Our own, that’s fucking who’s!”
“You go, girl! Tell your momma what a hoe she is!”
“Female power! Keep being too much, because we need more women like you who aren’t afraid to stand up for yourself!”
“Oh my God.” I keep scrolling, reading more and more words from women saying that they understand what I’m saying, how I should be proud of being ‘too much’, and cheering me on as I cuss out Damien’s dad.
“Don’t get me wrong, there are some trolls on there who have nothing better to do than try to tear people down, but overall Charlotte, your story is real, it’s something people can relate to, and that means something.”
I slink back in my chair. “This is crazy, but it’s kind of nice to know I’m not the only person who deals with this shit. And I know it wasn’t the best time to explode, but I just couldn’t take it anymore, you guys.”
“You were bound to blow up,” Amelia says. “That’s what happens when you hold in feelings of frustration and anger. If you don’t process them, they will come out at the most inopportune time.”
“Well, I’d say I picked a doozy.” I stare down at my glass as a new wave of emotion passes through me. “I thought I was a strong woman, you guys. I prided myself on being confident in who I am and what I want and feeling like I could handle anything. But dealing with my mother brings out the worst in me, and after all of this? I don’t feel very strong anymore.”
Amelia cuts me off. “Being a strong woman doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to be human, Charlotte. Being strong doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to have moments of weakness or make mistakes. Being strong means admitting when you made them and working to correct them. It means knowing when you’ve had enough and setting boundaries to maintain your inner peace so you can live your life the way you want to. Being strong means having people around you to pick you up when you’ve fallen—because it happens to everyone—and knowing you can lean on them when your plate goes crashing to the floor.”
“You and your plate again,” Penelope teases, which actually brings a smile to my face.
“No one is strong all of the time, and more often than not, the people that try to pretend to be strong every second of every day are the ones who are battling internal demons that no one else can see.”
“You guys knew though. You know what I’ve been dealing with.”
“We do, and that’s why we were encouraging you to talk to your mom about it so something like this wouldn’t happen,” Noelle says.
“I know. But it did, and even though it’s shitty, a part of me feels relieved. Although I keep thinking about all of the stuff I should have also said. Do you guys ever do that? Think about things you should have said in an argument after the conversation is already over?”
They all nod. “All the damn time, particularly in the shower,” Penelope says.
“Right?” I laugh and then drain my glass.
“So are you going to call your mother?” Amelia asks again.
“Not yet. I need some time. She’s been calling nonstop and texting. But her concern is with what people are saying and trying to fix this so it doesn’t look so bad. She still doesn’t think that she’s done anything wrong. I just can’t with her right now.”
“Then let her wait. And remember, you don’t have to apologize to her, Charlotte,” Amelia adds. “A parent’s love is supposed to be unconditional. It’s ingrained from conception. No matter what mistakes their children make, a good parent knows that inherently they will be there for their kids no matter what. But a child’s love for their parents doesn’t have to be unconditional. Parents have to earn their children’s respect and love. Just being someone’s mother isn’t enough to validate that love and respect. And if they damage that relationship, it’s up to them to repair it. Let your mother own her mistakes.”
“Thank you,” I say through my tears, feeling stronger with every second of being near my friends again.
“Now what about Damien?” Penelope changes the subject.
“Ugh. I can still see the look on his face when I walked out of our suite. But he just let me, you guys. Does that mean that he didn’t care?”
“I think it’s the opposite,” Noelle answers. “I think he cares too much. He knew at that moment that there was no reasoning with you, so he let you go to work through this on your own. He loves you, Charlotte. It was plain as day to anyone who was watching you two.”
“I don’t know. There were so many instances where I thought the same, but then everything happened, and it just made me question whether any of it was real.”
“The only way you’re going to know where he stands is if you talk to him.”
“He has his pitch on Friday, though, and I’m not sure that I want to jeopardize his mental state when I’m not even sure where mine is right now.” And then it hits me. “Oh, fuck.”
“What?”
