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Chapter19
Damien
“My entire life all you did was project your vision of what my future looked like on me, and because I didn’t want to let you down, I went along with it. I tried to be the best at everything, win everything, do everything, and beat out Charlotte in the process. But it was never enough.”
“Damien…”
“But it’s my life, it’s my future. And I’m happy,” I say, hitting myself square in the chest. “For the first time, I’m truly happy. I’m going after a promotion I want and I have a woman in my life that accepts me and allows me to be who I really am, even if it started out as an arrangement for us both to get what we wanted. And I’m sorry if that’s not what you want for me, but that’s not your decision.” I take a deep breath. “I’m in love with her. And now thanks to you, she’s gone.”
The elevator dings and pulls me back to reality as I replay the last words I said to my father before chasing Charlotte through the courtyard of the hotel in Hawaii. And as if I didn’t need another reminder of my actions, Jeffrey gives me a wake-up call as soon as the elevator doors part.
“Dude. I never knew you could throw a punch like that.” He slides in front of me as I exit the elevator, back at the office after the trip that ended up being a shit show of epic proportions.
“Fuck, not you too.” I step around him and head toward my office as he trails me like a lost puppy.
“Um, hello. You’re fucking viral. And nice punch, by the way. Your dad shriveled up like my balls do when I step out of the shower.”
“Jesus, Jeffrey. It’s too early for ball talk.” I unlock my door and head for my desk as I hear Jeffrey shut the door behind me. “And please don’t take this the wrong way, man, but the last thing I want to do is talk about what happened in Hawaii.”
“I get it, Damien. I do. But here’s the thing…Dave knows.”
My head pops up as I take in his words. “Fuck.”
Jeffrey nods slowly. “Yup. Elizabeth fucking showed him the video. She was more than eager to rat you out.”
“Jesus.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, cursing the past few days, yet again, and wondering how this is going to ultimately jeopardize everything I’ve been working toward.
What was supposed to be one of the best nights of my life turned into one of the worst. I had every intention of taking Charlotte down to the beach after the ceremony and laying my heart on the line. I wanted her to know how I truly feel about her—that nothing I feel about her is fake. That deep down, I wonder if all those years ago I was burying feelings for her that I knew I could possess if I had only tried, if I had only had the opportunity to explore them.
But after my dad performed his one-man show and Charlotte overheard, there was no way things were going to go the way I wanted them to.
And laying him out like that? Damn, it felt good. He fucking deserved it, even though my mom was frantic as I walked away from her when I chased after Charlotte. My dad ended up staying in their room until we all left on Tuesday, and let’s just say the family dynamic was tense. My parents barely spoke to one another or Charlotte’s parents the entire way home. And he didn’t say one word to me when I left the plane and headed for baggage claim while my parents stayed in the airport, waiting for their flight back home.
I’ve since spoken to my mother and apologized to her, but insisted that I didn’t regret hitting my dad. She cried, wondering how on earth our relationship ended up this way. But I reminded her that his behavior, his actions, and his words are the root of the problem. I asked her if he’s ever laid a hand on her since I know he had no problem doing that with me as a kid, and she assured me that he hadn’t. But I honestly don’t believe her, and I can hear in her voice that she’s not happy. And now I’m worried that he may take out his frustrations on her, and that has me even more furious than I was when I left Hawaii.
And Charlotte. Fuck, I wanted to go after her, but at that moment, my brain stopped me. Deep down, I knew there was nothing I could say that was going to keep her there, so I convinced myself to let her go. And she was right. I did break my promise to her, something that I should have known better than to do. I didn’t tell her about my dad when I should have, and for that part I take full responsibility.
I worried about her all night, though, barely sleeping and then walking around on edge the entire next day before I finally asked Noelle if she had heard from her. When I knew she was safe, that gave me a little sliver of relief, but the hole left in my chest that she dug with her words was—and still is—bleeding.
I know she fucking cares about me. I know that our relationship was far more than casual and temporary. And I know that the only way she’s going to figure that out is on her own.
Knowing her since we were kids does have its advantages, and her stubborn streak is as strong as they come. I’m also trying to remind myself that she had a critical moment with her mother and that she needs to work through that as well. I worked past things with my father a long time ago, limiting contact and standing up for myself numerous times since then, living my life the way I wanted, regardless of what he thought.
But I imagine that may be different for women and their mothers—that’s a relationship I won’t pretend to understand the first thing about.
However, I know that I was proud as hell to see Charlotte finally standing up for herself to not only her mom but also to my dad. It only solidified what I already knew—she is the woman for me, the type of woman I want standing by my side because she wants me there, not because she needs me.
And there’s nothing more that I want than to be that man for her.
I just don’t know how to ask for that when I can’t bring myself to call her.
Maybe that stubborn attribute isn’t exclusively unique to her.
“Have you spoken to Dave yet?” Jeffrey asks, pulling me back to the present.
“No. But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before he stops by.”
“Fuck.” Jeffrey slumps down in a chair. “We’re screwed. All this hard work was for nothing.”
“Not necessarily. And you know what? If it is, then I’ll take the fall, Jeffrey. You deserve that promotion. I’m not going to let you suffer for my poor decisions.”
A knock on my door pulls both of our heads in that direction.
“I’ll get it.” Jeffrey sighs and then stands, heading for the door and opening it up to reveal Dave on the other side. “Hey, boss man.”
“Gentleman. Mind if I have a word?”
“Of course,” I say, welcoming him in as Jeffrey closes the door behind him.
“Actually, I’d like to speak to Damien alone, Jeffrey, if you don’t mind.” He twists around as Jeffrey stands frozen in place, his eyes bouncing between me and Dave.
“Uh…”
“It’s okay, Jeffrey. I got this.” I give him a reassuring nod, and then he slowly exits the office, leaving me with the man I need to face before giving me a good luck thumbs up.
“Let’s take a seat.” Dave gestures to the chairs situated in front of my desk.
“Sure.”
As Dave unbuttons his coat and sits in his chair, he lets out a heavy sigh. “I imagine you know why I’m here.”
“I think I’m aware.”
Dave blows out a whistle. “Seems like your trip turned out to be more than you bargained for.”
“You could say that.”
“And what Charlotte said on the video? Is it true? She asked you to fake a relationship with her?”
