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She had no idea what to say. She had to say something. She couldn’t leave him hanging out there.
“Oh.”
He laughed. “Well, not quite what I’d hoped for, but okay. I’m a patient guy, we have time.”
“That’s one thing we don’t have.”
They drifted farther, the white sand beach a barely visible crescent, stars crowding the sky above them, the sliver of moon showing just above the island’s treetops.
“It’s funny, when we were kids thinking about our futures, even when we were just out of school, didn’t it seem as if whatever we did would be under our control? Maybe we wouldn’t get the exact job we wanted right away, or the apartment we wanted, but somehow we’d work it so we had it all eventually. No matter which doors we picked, the others would still be open to us if we wanted them to be.”
Addie thought about her life and which doors she’d chosen. Always the safe ones, the ones that would take her where she’d already planned to go. She hadn’t really considered any other paths. They’d been closed in her mind all along. “I never really wanted too many doors open at once. But I do know what you mean.”
“These days every now and then I come up against a door that’s locked in my face. I bought Joie de Vivre understanding that life with her would be all-consuming. It was and still is what I wanted. But, Addie...” He took a deep breath. “I didn’t count on meeting someone like you.”
Addie stifled a gasp, feeling torn in half. Part of her was thrilled. He’d said exactly the right thing at exactly the right time, and how often did that happen? And yet...it wasn’t the right thing, because there was no point admitting feelings for each other. She didn’t want a pen pal for a boyfriend.
“I agree, it would have been nice to have more time together to understand what we started.” Addie stopped her speech abruptly, rolling her eyes. Derek had been passionate, sincere and direct, and she sounded like she was talking about developing a new insurance policy. She’d try again, keeping firmly in mind that she had plans to start a new, more interesting and involved life back in New York. This man was not her final and only chance for happiness or personal growth. “Knowing we have to leave this here...is really hard.”
“You have no idea how hard.”
“Ha.” She snorted. “I’m sure you’ll be back to women in every port very soon.”
“Doubt it.” He eased himself off the seat onto a waterproof cushion on the boat’s floor and opened his arms. “Because you’re the only one I want. Come here?”
“Derek...”
“Yes?”
She sighed heavily. The sensible, rational Addie thing to do was to explain that there was no point in them indulging in any more romance because it would only make it worse when they had to leave each other.
But...Derek must again be bringing out the wild woman in her, because she was finding it very hard to convince herself that sitting here on a cold seat alone was a better idea than sitting in his lap with his warm arms around her.
She pulled herself together and addressed his silhouette. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to touch each other.”
“Not a good— Are you nuts? It’s the best idea I’ve had all day.”
His response was so unexpected she burst out with a nervous giggle. “Derek...”
“I get what you’re saying, Addie. I really do. But I need to ask you something, and it would be a big help to hold you while I’m doing it.”
Ask her what? Addie stared at his dark form. How could she refuse him? She couldn’t. She didn’t want to. Relief swept over her as she moved toward him, giving in to what she’d wanted all along, and sat down between his legs on the other half of the cushion.
His strong arms came around her, his chest was broad and warm at her back. He laid his cheek on her hair. She felt sheltered, protected, cared for.
Irresistible.
“So.” She’d meant to speak in a no-nonsense tone, but her throat was thick with emotion, and all she managed was a gentle syllable. “What’s so frightening that you can’t face it alone?”
