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Addie dragged herself out of bed, remembering suddenly how the week before she left for Maine she’d been having trouble getting up, too. Funny. She’d been thinking about getting her Vitamin D checked or her iron. And yet, she’d felt fine—more than fine—in Maine. Plenty of energy, zest for life, you name it.
Just her rut, which she was going to get out of as soon as possible. She’d clean up those boxes of Great-Aunt Grace’s and maybe look for a condo for real this weekend. September was right around the corner, there would be classes of all kinds starting soon.
In the meantime, she could get back to the kind of life she needed to keep herself sane.
In the bathroom she counted to seventeen until the shower was warm, scrubbed her hair and body, humming a melody she abruptly stopped when she realized it was Avril Lavigne’s missing-you song “When You’re Gone.”
In her bedroom, she dressed quickly and efficiently in the clothes she’d ironed and laid out the night before.
In her kitchen she fixed and ate the same breakfast she had every morning: a banana, granola with yogurt, a half piece of toast with butter and jam—sometimes honey—orange juice, milk and coffee.
In the subway she read that day’s New York Times, saving the crossword to do at lunch.
In her office she dealt with the day’s tasks from eight-thirty until eleven forty-five when she broke for lunch to beat the rush at the cafeteria and secure her favorite table.
In the cafeteria, with the crossword section under her arm, she selected carrot sticks, a sandwich, an apple and skim milk to be sure she was getting enough calcium.
On her way to her usual table, sitting empty waiting for her, Addie came to an abrupt stop, nearly causing the woman behind her to dump her tray contents down Addie’s back.
Her routines were not comforting today, as they had been the first day back, and then a little less yesterday. Today they were stifling her.
“Addie?”
She turned to find Linda Persson back at her usual table, with her usual lunch. Linda must have been sick Monday and Tuesday. Or maybe she’d decided to take a trip after all.
“Hi, Linda, welcome back. Were you out on vacation this week?” She could hear the hope in her voice, not sure why she’d care either way.
“No, no, I was out sick. Nothing serious. I’m much better now. How was Maine?”
“Wonderful. The wedding was lovely. It’s good to be home, though.” Sort of. For the most part. In spite of being bored and having a huge jagged hole in her heart. She took a step toward her regular table then hesitated, struck by inspiration. If anyone could make her feel good about her decision to forgo a life of constant uncertainty for a life of total stability, it was Linda. “Hey, can I join you?”
Pleasure lit Linda’s face, making Addie feel guilty for wanting to have lunch with her for such a selfish reason. “Absolutely, come on over. I’m dying to know what you thought of Maine. My friend Marcy and I are thinking of going there.”
Addie set down her tray and took a seat. “Really going there?”
“Well, yes.” Linda seemed surprised Addie would ask. “One of our friends from college opened a B&B outside of Portland and invited us. So I want to hear all about your trip.”
“I thought you didn’t like to travel.”
Linda looked trapped, and then gave an embarrassed shrug. “That was partly sour grapes. I had no reason to go anywhere and it felt terrible. I’m excited about this, though, so tell me everything.”
“The state is beautiful, so wild and pristine and free. At least where we were, in Downeast Maine. The seafood is delicious and so cheap compared to the city. It’s the kind of place that changes you.” Her voice thickened. She bit into a carrot and chewed viciously. “But I’ll tell you, after a week of constant socializing I was pretty fried.”
“Oh, I bet.” Linda nodded. “Weddings are exhausting. But so romantic.”
“Yes.” Addie picked up her sandwich, trying to look nonchalant, and pretty sure she was failing big-time. “I actually met someone.”
“You’re kidding!” Linda spoke so loudly a couple of people turned to look.
