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I’m not sure I’ve ever felt that kind of love for someone. I love my parents, my siblings, and my friends, sure. Once upon a time, I thought I might be in love with Kieran. On the other hand, there’s no denying I’m prone to daydreams and rose-colored lenses. The idea of love seems ethereal as much as it is appealing. What must it be like to be so faithful to another person, even after their time in this life has expired?
“We’re all animals at the end of the day, Emma. With needs we can’t repress, no matter how much we might want to. No amount of love or supposed ethics changes that.”
His answer shocks me. It’s so raw, unfiltered, and brutally honest.
And it completely crushes every idea of love I’ve ever had.
“I have to go. I’ll see you around.” Kieran pushes his chair back and exits the coffee shop before I’ve recovered enough to speak.
I stare at the cup of java in front of me, desperate for a reprieve from my selfish wallowing. It’s not like I’m in love with a dead person. Besides, Kieran’s right. He never promised me anything; those fantasies were all mine, and I certainly never gave voice to them.
“He’s lying.”
I jerk my gaze up to the new voice in the recently vacated seat.
“What are you doing here?”
Jason shrugs, then wrinkles his nose at the half-eaten pastry on Kieran’s abandoned plate. “I had to talk to Andy about the schedule next week.”
As much as my heart’s still reeling from the past half hour, my suspicion fires on all cylinders. “You work a steady shift; why would you need to know the schedule? Were you spying on me?”
Amusement dances in his ironically coffee-colored irises. “Someone thinks very highly of herself. But, to answer your question, no.”
I don’t have the patience for these games today. “No, what? No, you weren’t spying on me? No, you weren’t actually checking your schedule?”
“No, I wasn’t spying on you,” he clarifies, but doesn’t elaborate on the rest.
My earlier strength not to be a doormat crumbles like the overly dry scone on my plate. My need for validation trumps the desire to bust Jason for eavesdropping. “Which part do you think he was lying about?”
“He doesn’t have a dead ex. He’s playing you.”
My fantasies of romance further turn to ash. “Why would he do that when he’s already getting what he wants from me?”
“I dunno. Maybe he wants to have his pussy and eat it, too.”
I throw my pastry at him, not caring if I’m making a scene. “Can you be serious for once in your life?”
I have no intention of telling him he got the quote wrong, let alone the fact Kieran has never eaten anything of mine.
“I am being serious. Before you go and get all depressed and mope for the rest of the semester, I thought you’d want to know he’s lying.”
The insinuation I’m about to mourn something that’s been dead since it started pricks my skin. “Well, aren’t you just the best friend a girl could have?”
“I’m trying.”
“Try harder.”
He sighs, the sound an assault to my already fragile ego. Like he’s only placating the fragile girl who’s just had her hopes crushed. “Fine. What do you need?”
“Mom and Dad had to leave before we could put all my furniture together. A really good friend would stop by tonight to help me assemble it.”
He raises his eyebrow, likely knowing I’m totally scamming him into free help. “What time?”
I raise my chin in defiance. If he wants to prove himself, now would be good. “Six.”
“And you promise not to be all weepy and want to talk about it?”
“I’ll even throw in beer and pizza.”
“Deal.”
Love
