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Valentine’s Day Bonus
1 She Is Love
Rob
“It’s official,”Alex mutters over my shoulder. “Evie’s turned you into a girl.”
“What?” I save the last pin I was looking at before my roommate, best friend, and all-around pain in my ass interrupted me. “The last time I checked I hadn’t grown a vagina.”
“Do you even realize what you’re doing right now?”
I turn from my laptop to face him.
He’s standing in the middle of the floor between our desks, his arms crossed over his chest, a disappointed glare in place of his usual happy-go-lucky expression.
“What am I doing right now?”
He gestures at my computer. “You’re on Pinterest, man! It started out slow at the beginning of the year when Evie’s clothes crept their way into the room. Next thing I know, there’s fucking throw pillows on your bed. Throw pillows, Rob! What kind of self-respecting man has throw pillows on his bed?”
A smug smile creeps across my lips. I don’t bother to hide it. “The kind of man who shares a bed every night with a woman.”
He leaps forward, latching onto my shoulders and shaking me. “She’s brain washing you, bro! Snap out of it before it’s too late!”
His hysteria only makes me laugh. “Oh, it’s way too late for me, and I think we all know it.”
“Don’t do this, Falls!” His eyes are wild, a little on the crazy side. “If you want to have a girlfriend and let her hide pads in your desk and sleep with her when she’s all bloody and nasty, that’s one thing. But, Pinterest? Really?”
I roll my eyes and shake loose from his grasp, turning back to my idea board. Funny how fucked up his list of priorities is. The red wave ranks a step lower than a website. “There’s some really good shit on here. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”
“Never. I will never get on Pinterest. I don’t care if it has porn.”
“Okay.” His loss.
A heavy sigh behind me signals he’s not ready to abandon ship yet. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but fine. Have it your way. Why?”
“Why, what?”
“Why are you on that God-forsaken website?”
“Oh. I’m looking for ideas for Valentine’s Day gifts.” Ooh. Make her a book, listing all the things I love about her. Lists are my thing. I save that pin for later. First, all possibilities must be thoroughly researched.
Alex startles me with his unexpected, or maybe expected, laughter. “Dude. Just get her some roses, chocolate, and jewelry. Boom. Done.”
I turn around again, raising my eyebrow. “How do you know about the big three?”
He shakes his head, the disappointment returning. “Basic. Every guy knows that.”
Yeah, well…not this guy. My girlfriend had to spell it out for me. “I can’t afford stuff like that. I swear, they triple the prices around this time of year.”
“Why can’t you afford it? Did you blow your inheritance on something I don’t know about yet…” Alex’s face pales. “No. Do not tell me you bought her an engagement ring. You can’t propose to her on Valentine’s Day. Jesus, didn’t I teach you anything?”
Aside from more sexual positions than I’m sure are even physically possible, no. “I wish. Evie read me the riot act when I gave her diamond earrings for Christmas. She told me I need to be more financially responsible.”
“You’re taking financial advice from the girl you had to tutor in calculus?” He cracks up at this.
“She might not know what a derivative is, but she made a good point. I have to make this money last for the next three years because I don’t have time to hold down a job, play ball, and study enough to keep up my GPA. I worked out a budget, and it’s gonna be tight, but I’ll have enough for the basics with a small emergency fund.”
He shakes his head like I’m being ridiculous. “So, buy her a single rose, a small chocolate bar, and a plastic ring from a gumball machine, and get off that site before it corrupts your quarterback brain.”
