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Alex makes a gesture for me to sit still. “Remember my hot tutor I told you about last semester?”
“Yes?”
“She’s a lot like Evie. A total ball buster, feminist, smart-chick type who tries to hide her hotness behind thick glasses, frumpy hair, and layers of clothes.”
I hold up a hand to halt his explanation. “Number one, you’re not making a real strong case for yourself on keeping your grubby paws off my girl if you’re telling me how the chick you’ve been lusting after since last semester reminds you of Evie. Number two, Evie doesn’t dress like that anymore, and you’re the one always telling me it’s a good thing.”
He nods excitedly. “That’s just it! That’s the whole point!”
I throw my hands up in exasperation. “What is the whole fucking point? Get on with it already!”
“Evie’s making her feminine charms work for her, but Amira still thinks of her assets as the enemy as much as any penis!”
“One minute left,” I tell him, deadpan. Not only is he pissing me off with talk of Evie’s new dress code, but he’s comparing his tutor’s assets to Evie’s. Not cool.
“The point is this—all I had to do was remind Amira she’s freaking gorgeous, and no amount of covering up can hide her beauty from a guy who really appreciates women as the fucking seductive creatures they are.”
I mentally rewind our conversation, trying to find the link between this information and Alex’s insistence that the big three play is the way to go. “Help me out here, bro. What the fuck are you even talking about at this point? How is you finally getting Amira to sleep with you related in any way to what I should get for my girlfriend for Valentine’s Day?”
He rolls his eyes and huffs like he can’t believe I don’t see the connection. “They think they don’t want to be treated like typical women, but they do! They want independence, but they also want a guy to just fucking tell them how it’s going to be! They want wined and dined. They want roses, jewelry, to be treated like spoiled fucking princesses! They’re smart enough that just telling them they’re beautiful and you want to fuck them isn’t good enough. You have to show them with gifts and actions that you’re not going to give up until you get what you want.”
“You’re insane, Fossoway. You are a certifiable lunatic.”
He shrugs, not the least bit offended. “Maybe, but I’m also the lunatic who had mind-bending sex for a week straight with a girl who swore months ago I’d never lay a finger on her.”
That sounds all too familiar. Minus the mind-bending sex part. “Yeah, but you said it yourself. I’m not trying to get Evie. I’m trying to keep Evie. And if your past track record is any indication, you had amazing sex for a week, but Amira hates your guts now and probably has threatened to cut off your balls at least once since this semester started.”
“Nope.” He grins.
“She doesn’t hate you?”
“Nope. In fact, we have a standing date once a week.”
Something’s off. Alex never hooks up with a girl more than a few times. A steady fuck buddy at his beck and call isn’t his style. More importantly, he doesn’t work hard for women. He prefers easy over a challenge.
Even more suspicious, Mike and I have compared notes about Alex’s stories of his hot tutor. It seems he’s giving everyone different versions of events. Something is definitely not stirring the Kool-Aid about this woman who Alex talks about way more than any other female in his life. I’m almost tempted to track her down and get the story straight from the horse’s mouth.
“So,” Alex prods, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Now you see why Pinterest isn’t going to help you. You need to take charge, be an alpha male, sweep her off her feet, and give her what she doesn’t think she wants for Valentine’s Day.”
I pop my eyebrows before returning to my desk. First, I need to make solid plans for Evie. Once I have that under control, I’ll have more time to dig into the whole Amira mess. “Okay, sure.”
“You don’t believe a word I said, do you?”
“Nope.” I open a new search tab. Creative Valentine’s Day dates.
Most of the suggestions are useless. Expensive dinners, hotel reservations, weekends away. Kinky sex positions to spice up your mundane love life.
Too expensive, not enough time, not applicable.
Refining my search options seems to be in order. Inexpensive Valentine’s Day ideas for my girlfriend.
Hmm, a full body massage. I can’t admit this to Alex, but something he said does apply to my situation. Evie hasn’t ever had great self-esteem, but she feels worse than ever, thanks to the scars she constantly hides with thick makeup, tight clothes, and straightened, glossy hair.
Taking the time on Valentine’s Day to show her I think she’s beautiful might be just the ticket.
And she’s a huge fan of my so-called magical hands.
I can spring for a bottle of massage oil, right? Evie can’t possibly bust my balls over that…
