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“I had to have some form of punishment available,” he said, biting back a laugh at her narrow-eyed stare. “But I didn’t buy a crate, so it was an idle threat. This time.”
“This time?”
He pinched her chin. “For this first time, I thought I’d keep things low key.”
Her eyes went wide. “That was low key?”
“Low discipline,” he amended.
“Oh. Yeah, that was a good call. Once I got past the kneejerk weirdness of it and started thinking of it as just another role play, it was fun.”
“I’m glad. Was it humiliating?”
She frowned. “Parts of it. When you first put all the dog stuff on me, the paws and the ears, the tail…it was embarrassing. But it didn’t last very long. Like I said, after a bit, it just felt like role play.”
He nodded. “What else did you find humiliating?”
She grimaced, an uncomfortable look coming into her eyes, and she hesitated. He waited patiently, knowing that it sometimes took her a minute to put a voice to difficult feelings. And that when she was ready, she’d tell him, even if it was hard.
“There was a moment, when I first climbed on the couch…” she began.
“Ah.” He nodded. “When I touched your breasts, and your belly. You didn’t like it.”
She huffed out a breath. “Not at first, no.”
“Tell me why.”
She grimaced again, then lifted her chin and looked him in the eye. “I don’t want you to think that I think about this a lot, because I don’t. I’m happy with my body.”
“All right.”
“But…” She frowned a little, tapping her fingers on the counter as she searched for the right words. “I’m forty-six, and my body is softer than it used to be. Normally it doesn’t bother me,” she hastened to assure him. “Most of the time I feel sexy and beautiful, and I know you think I am.”
“You are,” he said simply, and her smile bloomed.
“I know.” She shrugged. “But sometimes, in certain positions, things…hang. Things that didn’t used to hang, or that I think shouldn’t.”
“Like breasts, or bellies,” he put in.
She nodded, a little sheepish. “I didn’t want you to touch me, not there. Not then.”
“You relaxed after a minute.”
She shrugged again. “It was a kneejerk reaction. Instinctive, you know? Once I had a minute to settle, to remind myself that sagging bellies don’t bother you, that you love me just as I am…it went away.”
“Good. What else did you find embarrassing?”
The look she shot him now was sulfuric. “Well, peeing like a dog was pretty humiliating.”
“I had a bet with myself that you’d safeword out at that point.”
Her eyes bugged. “Youwantedme to safeword?”
“No,” he said, trying not to laugh outright at her expression. “But I thought if anything was going to do it, it would be that.”
“I almost did,” she admitted. “If you thought I’d react that strongly to it, why did you do it?”
It was his turn to shrug. “It’s a pretty basic part of puppy play, and definitely one of the more humiliating aspects. Since that was the goal, it didn’t seem right to exclude it.”
