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“Daughter? You have a kid?”
“Yep.” Then I explain the entire story from Maia finding out she was pregnant to all the dumb shit I did leading up to the accident.
She’s quiet for a moment once I finish.
“Look, uh, I understand if all that is too much for you. I know it’s—”
“I had an abortion.”
“What?” I choke out.
“I got pregnant at sixteen—not from my best friend, from some asshole guy at a party.”
“Did he—”
“He didn’trapeme. But he definitely took advantage of the fact that I’d had more alcohol than him.”
Anger surges through me. I don’t know who this guy is, but I want to find him and beat him to a pulp. This is also a moment when I wish we weren’t doing this whole blind dating thing. I want to be there with her, comfort her. Then again, if we had gone on a typical date, would we be talking like this?
“I hope for some reason, any reason, he gets his ass kicked. I’m sure that sounds a little caveman, but if I knew who he was—”
“You’re sweet, mystery man.”
“Did he ever know about the baby?”
“No. I found out, spent three days crying in my mom’s arms, before deciding to have an abortion. It was—” She pauses as her voice wavers.
“I wish I was there to hold you. Just know if I could hug you and kiss you right now, make you feel safe, I would.”
She lets out a shaky breath. “I’ve never told anyone about this. So, just know, Idofeel safe with you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be telling you all this.” She clears her throat before continuing. “Anyway, it was a really tough decision. But, ultimately, I did it because—I want kids in the future. There’s so much I want to do. I’m studying to be a nurse—the one thing I’ve always wanted to be. Maybe I could’ve done it, but I couldn’t have committed to it like this and built the life I really wanted for myself if I’d had the baby. And I don’t have any regrets. I know I wouldn’t have—I wouldn’t have been the mom that child deserved. It was hard, and I still think about it a lot. It stays with you, no matter what choice you make. But I learned a lot about myself from it, too.”
“I understand that. All of it. Especially the learning things part. Going through hard shit is a great way to learn. Although, I put that part off until I hit a tree.”
“What did you learn when you did?” she asks, voice soft and sincere.
“I’ve learned life is short, and it doesn’t always go like you think it will. I ran from the idea of responsibility and I slacked off and partied because to me that was freedom. But after getting in that car accident, going through what I’ve gone through, I’ve realized none of that was freedom. Living the life you have is the ultimate freedom. You have to enjoy life every second you can, find happiness even in the midst of hard things. I went from being afraid to grow up because I thought it was the end of everything fun, to realizing that life is what you make it, so I’m not wasting my time on those worthless things anymore when I can live it fully instead.”
“Wow,” she breathes. “Good lesson. And very profound of you, Jack.” Her voice perks up as she says it, some playfulness sneaking in again.
“Jack?” I ask, wondering if I sound like a Jack.
“If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s thatTitanicis my favorite movie and Jack Dawson is boyfriend goals. And that little speech you just gave wasveryJack Dawson.”
“Doesn’t he die?”
“Only in the movie. In my mind, he lives on. And on.”
“Okay. So, I’m your Jack?”
She sighs dreamily, though her voice stays fiery as ever. “It seems that way. I’ll let you have the nickname for now, and we’ll see what happens.”
“Whatever you say, Firecracker. As long as you make room for me on the damn door.”
“No promises.”
I start to laugh, but it turns into a yawn. I’ve been up since five this morning helping my dad clean the smoker and grills. “Sorry. I was up early helping my dad.”
“It’s fine. I should probably go anyway. I need to get a little more reading done for my class tomorrow.”
