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“Maybe we’re just not meant to work right now. What if we stay friends? I’ll even tell you my name—”
“No. Please, no. I can’t do it. If I stay connected to you—it’s going to hurt too much. I’m barely making it through this phone call. I know it’s not fair. And I hate it. But I need us to have a clean break. If we don’t… I won’t be able to handle everything else in my life. My family needs me right now. Harper will always need you. In another life or at another time, maybe we would’ve been meant to be, but clearly, we aren’t.”
“No.” I rise from my bed, filled with determination.
“What?”
“Timing is fucking us right now, but don’t tell me we aren’t meant to be because of it.” I let out a rough sigh. I don’t want to let her go, but I know for her sake I have to. I won’t hurt her more. “We might not be meant to be right now, but that doesn’t mean we never will be. What I’ve felt with you is more than I knew I could feel. I’m not giving up on that. I understand why we need to end this. I hate it, but I respect you enough not to keep pushing. Just know… I’m not giving up. If you’re having a bad day, if you’re hurting, if you need me, call me. I’ll always answer. Now. Ten years from now. I don’t care.”
All I hear on the other end of the line are shaky sobs. And then… “You’re the sweetest man I could’ve dreamed of meeting. I…”
“Don’t let go.”
“What?”
“Youknowwhat. I’m your Jack. Don’t let go. Promise me you’ll remember me. Keep my phone number. Don’t give up on the possibility of us. It might not be now, but that doesn’t mean it’s never.”
She sniffs, but I can hear the slightest lilt to her voice when she speaks again. “Okay, Jack. I promise. I won’t let go.” She’s quiet for a moment before continuing. “For the record, I feel the same way for you that you feel for me.”
“Firecracker, those words are going to destroy me.”
“I just need you to know. Clean break. But I promise, I won’t let go. I—” She sniffles again. “I need to go. These last few months—you’ve been incredible. Keep being the amazing version of yourself that I’ve gotten to know. Okay, Jack?”
“Deal, Firecracker. But only if you keep being the sweet, badass, strong girl I’ve gotten to know.”
“Deal,” she breathes. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Like I said, I’ll always be right here. Take care of yourself.”
I take a deep breath and listen to her voice, trying to memorize it, log it away forever.
“You too. Goodbye, Jack.”
Fuck, this hurts.
“Don’t let go, Firecracker.” One more deep breath. “Goodbye.”
I hear one more sniffle, then the line disconnects.
I stare blankly at my phone for a few minutes, wanting nothing more than to call her back with some magical solution, but there isn’t one. This wasn’t the right time for us.
I fall back onto my bed, the thoughts crushing me.
Grabbing a pillow, I replay her voice in my head over and over as I curse the universe and cry uncontrollably.
I was really hoping if I fell in love again it would last—that I wouldn’t end up feeling miserable and alone all over again. I guess I wasn’t that lucky. Or maybe it’s the universe punishing me for my past behavior. Who knows? All I know is,this fucking sucks.
