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Maia
“Oh my god. Food tastes so much better when you don’t have a tiny human screaming in your ear. Or sucking your life force out through your boob,” Leigh says with a mouthful of sushi.
I laugh to myself as Harper makes yummy noises while eating fried rice next to me at the coffee table. Oh, there’s gonna be so much rice on the floor.
“Believe me, I understand that. It does get better, though.” We watch as Harper dumps a giant spoonful in her lap. “Well. Sort of.” I tickle Harper’s neck. “You’re very messy.”
She giggles and swats at my hand.
“This is why they’re cute,” Jenna says.
“How are you doing?” I ask Leigh. “Dealing with what’s happened in this last year and being a new mom has to be tough.”
She finishes chewing the gob of food in her mouth. “I’m okay. Some days are harder than others. My therapist and I have been talking about my original breaking point with my mother—that dance show she didn’t come to—and how I started closing myself off after that. We talked about how that’s affected my relationships with the people around me. It’s not easy to realize that all the time I thought I wasn’t letting her get to me, I’d actually been allowing her to affect and control too many areas of my life. I was a mess after that.” She looks down. “Sometimes it’s hard to care for Hunter when I’m dealing with that. Like I can’t take even one more thing on my plate. It makes me feel so guilty.”
I reach over and touch her hand. “We all need help sometimes. You know, I relied on my dad and Vince a lot when Braden wasn’t around.”
Her face changes, and she visibly swoons as she starts gushing about Nick. “I’m so lucky to have Nick. He is amazing with Hunter. Even when he’s tired or has worked all day, he’ll take him without a second thought if I need a few minutes. It helps to have someone so supportive to do this with. I just hope he’s taking care of himself, too. I feel like I’m not giving him enough right now.”
“Sometimes you can’t,” Jenna says matter-of-factly. “Sometimes you can only keep yourself afloat, and that has to be enough.” She shrugs. “But it’ll all come around and he’ll need you the same way.”
She takes a big bite of sushi as Leigh and I stare at her.
“Do you just read self-help books for fun or something?” Leigh teases.
“No. It just makes sense.” She shrugs again and goes back to eating. I flare my eyes at Leigh and we both laugh.
Until Harper flips her bowl into the air, sending fried rice everywhere before it lands at her feet.
“Do again!” she yells.
“I don’t think so, maniac.” I grab her and tickle her as Leigh cleans up the floor.
“I’ve actually thought about taking some dance classes again,” she says, scooping up the rice as I run to grab the vacuum.
“Really?” Jenna asks in surprise.
“Yeah. I gave it up because I didn’t want something in common with her. I realize now that I gave up something I really loved, which only hurt me more.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I think you should. You were always incredible.” I turn the vacuum on and suck up all the rice bits Harper left behind. She’s across the room now, playing pretend with her stuffed animals.Ah, to be a toddler.
“What about you?” Leigh asks. “Still stressing about the wedding?”
I smile brightly. Six weeks from now, I get to marry Vince. “No, I’ve hit a nice sweet spot where almost everything is done and only the fun stuff remains. I know I’m going to start freaking out again right before the wedding, but until then… I’m just excited. I never thought I’d be getting married at nineteen—almost twenty—especially to Vince, but it feels right. I can’t wait.”
“And that dress,” Leigh says.
“Oh, yeah,” Jenna agrees. “Hopefully he doesn’t get a hard-on at the altar.” She snickers, and I can’t help but laugh too. I do look damn good in my dress.
Harper toddles over and gives me a wet kiss. “Harpa dwess.”
I laugh. “Yes, baby. You get to wear a pretty dress, too.”
“Pwetty dwess!” She claps her hands, then runs away to keep playing as the three of us lean back against the couch and continue enjoying our sushi.
This is my life now—chaotic, still a little messy, but way more than I ever imagined it would be.
