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Pulling my hand from his, I thread my fingers through his hair. “Hey.”
He lifts his head, his face twisted with emotion. “That’s our baby,” he whispers. “You and me.” He glances at the ultrasound tech, who is probably listening to every word we say, but she seems focused on what she’s doing. He scooches the rolling stool he’s on toward my head. “I know our relationship hasn’t gone the way we wanted it to, but I dreamed of us for so long. I—”
Leaning over as much as I can, I kiss his cheek. “I love you.”
He sniffs again, then wipes his eyes, kisses my forehead, and says, “I love you, too.”
My heart thunders. It’s beating so hard I wonder if she could pick it up on the ultrasound. Tears crest in my eyes, but I do my best to shove them back.
Of course, stupid pregnancy hormones make that impossible. Nick notices and wipes the tears from my cheeks, smiling at me as we exchange a look.
This is our baby.Everything else be damned. I’m ready to celebrate that.
I haven’t fully stepped into the apartment when I hear Abuelita’s voice. “Hola, mijita.”
Shutting the door behind me, I turn toward the kitchen, where she’s standing, sipping a cup of coffee. How she can drink caffeine at seven at night and still fall asleep by ten is beyond me.
“Hey, Abuelita,” I say, flashing apologetic eyes. I wasn’t the nicest version of myself earlier. My mother—all the hell she put me through—is my biggest trigger. I’m not ready to rebuild bridges with her yet. Especially when I don’t know for sure if it’ll stick. My heart can’t take it, but none of that is Abuelita’s fault.
She smiles softly. “Come here, sweet girl.”
I walk over and let her pull me into one of her bone-crushing hugs.
“I’m sorry. So sorry. I know you’ll always support me—choose me—”
“It’s okay. I understand your mixed feelings about this, how complicated it is.” She lets me go and steps back. “I will never push you when it comes to building a relationship with her. You make your own choices, but I can’t give up—”
“I understand,” I say, giving her hands a squeeze. “Now, how would you like to see a picture of your great-grandbaby?”
Her eyes flash with excitement. “Are you holding out on me? Give me! Right now!”
Laughing, I pull the multitude of ultrasound photos from my bag. She rips them from my hand, gasping with each one she looks at, even though they all look the same.
“Oh, these are beautiful.”
I chew on my lip, watching her look through them again and again.
“Does she know?” My voice is soft and uncertain.
Abuelita looks up at me. “No. I wasn’t sure if you wanted her to know. I meant it when I said my loyalty is to you.”
I inhale sharply. “Tell her.”
“Are you sure?”
I give a little nod. “If she really intends to be a part of our lives… she should know. But she should also know I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Abuelita leans over and kisses my forehead. “You have a beautiful heart.” She steps back. “You need some food?”
I shake my head. “Just to get off my feet and rest.”
“Go on, I’ll be fawning over these pictures all night.”
“Let me have one of them.”
She hands me one, and I make my way to my room. Once inside, I flop down on my bed and stare at the ultrasound picture. It’s impossible to convey how much I love this tiny human already. My mind wanders, and I wonder if my mother ever felt this way with me. It doesn’t seem possible. I mean, can love for your child fade? Can you just turn it off? Because I don’t know how she could do what she did if she loved me.
My eyes go to the letter sitting on my desk. I pull it over to me and hold it up, looking between the envelope and the ultrasound picture.
No. I’m not getting into this. I have a little person to protect.
I slide the letter back on my desk and look at the ultrasound again, making the same silent promise I have from the moment we decided to have this baby.
I love you. I will always be here for you. I will never leave you, no matter what.
