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Broken Anyway
Nick
Ijustneededtobreak. Just needed to cry on my best friend’s shoulder for a while. It’s the first time I’ve been that open with Braden since we’ve been close again. While the reason for my meltdown didn’t feel good, his support did. He insisted I stay the night, and he made nachos and homemade wings and we talked and watched movies. It felt good. Our friendship is stronger than it’s been in a long time. I’m grateful for that. And it must’ve been what I needed, because I woke up the next morning ready to keep fighting.
That’s what I’m doing. What I’ve done. It’s been two weeks since Leigh closed the farmhouse door, and she hasn’t responded to me.
She thinks she needs space, so I decided I was going to give it to her. Mostly. Because I need her to know I’m not giving up. Every morning I call and leave her a voicemail. Each night I send her a text. They both let her know I’m still in, I still love her, I’m not giving up.
Is it pathetic? Maybe. But I don’t care. It feels like the right thing to do. And it’s just one phone call and one text per day. Nothing crazy.
But this? This might be a little crazy.
Signing a lease on an apartment. An apartment I will struggle to afford on my own. If it wasn’t for Leo knowing the landlord, there’s no way I would’ve gotten it. But it’s mine. Hopefully, it’ll be ours. It’s the entire bottom floor of a house. Two bedrooms, one bath, nice sized kitchen and living room, and a small nook we can use as an office.
“All yours, man. You ready to live on your own?” Braden asks, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
I shrug as I look around the empty apartment. “I don’t know. Hopefully, I won’t be alone for long.”
“She’ll come around,” my brother says. He throws a glance at Braden. “If he can…”
Braden smacks his shoulder. “Hey! I resemble that.”
They both laugh at that.
“Wow. Really nailing those dad jokes early,” I say.
“How are you really doing?” Maia asks me, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“I’m just trying to have faith. I know she doesn’t actually mean what she said. She needs me to be the strong one now, to keep fighting for her and us.”
Maia smiles softly, then pushes off the counter. As she walks past me, she kisses my cheek. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to her. Deep down, she knows that.”
I hope so.
She looks up at Vince. “We should get to campus.” She glances back at Braden. “You want a ride?”
They’re all going to school at the local community college. Maia and Vince are doing it to save money before transferring to a four-year school. Braden is working on his associate’s degree in business.
“Nah, I’m good. I only have a couple of classes today. I’ll catch you guys around lunch.”
“Sounds good. Later,” Vince says.
They head out the door and Braden looks at me. “Shouldn’t you be getting to school?”
I glance at the clock, thankful school doesn’t start until eight-thirty this year. “Yeah, I guess I should.”
“This place is awesome. Once you get it set up, it’s gonna be perfect. And she’ll think so too. I believe that.”
“Thanks, Brade.”
“No problem. Let’s go.”
He gestures to the door, and I look around one more time.
I hope this is where our future is going to start.
