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“I’m scared that I’ll let myself fall for you and then you’ll see how broken I really am.”
If I ever see her ex, I will kill him.
“You’re not broken, Mik.”
“Yes.” She pulls back to look at me and the pain in her eyes leaves my entire being splintering. “I really am.”
Eight Years Ago
“So, J said you’re skipping town on us?” I grab a soda can from the refrigerator as Mikaela sorts through pills. Her shoulders are tense and as she reaches up to grab another bottle her sweatshirt lifts slightly. I glance down, my eyes trailing over her and pausing on the yellow stain of an old bruise.
“You know, for it to be skipping town onyou, you’d have to be in town every once in a while.” Her voice drips with sarcasm and I roll my eyes.
I rarely see Mik and it is true, I’m rarely home, but I’m working all the time. And besides, being around her is... difficult.
“Touché.” I reach around her to grab the bottle she can’t quite catch, my hand falling against her waist to balance myself, and she flinches. “Sorry. Here.”
She takes the bottle from me and moves away quickly, glancing over her shoulder at the closed door.
“Matthew seems -” I pause as I search for the right word. “Intense?”
She sighs as she tugs at the hem of her sweatshirt and my stomach twists. Maybe intense isn’t the right word. Maybe I should have said nasty, or disgusting, or arrogant. Cruel?
“He’s sweet when you get to know him.” Her tone is defensive and I regret having said anything.
I watch her for a moment as she moves around me, reaching for a glass from the cupboard and nudging me out of the way of the sink so she can fill it for Elizabeth.
“I’m sure he’s super sweet,” I tease, smiling as the corner of her lip twitches. “Seems like the guy’s a spoonful of sugar away from being Mary freaking Poppins, Mik.”
She grins and I nudge her hip with my own.
“I mean would it kill him to crack a smile. He’s in there all surly and your poor mom is doing her fussing thing again.”
“She’s not?” Mikaela rolls her eyes and I smirk.
I like it like this - light and easy.
“Yep. Keeps calling him Sweet Pea and offering to make him cookies. No offer of cherry pie though, so I’m glad that’s mine at least.” Okay that sounds like I’m thinking about her. And to be fair, I am. Have been for a long time. But I also know I shouldn’t be.
Mikaela freezes for just a millisecond before glancing up at me. I don’t look away.
We’re inches apart, just staring at each other, all traces of humour gone, and a heady sort of thinness in the air, when the door swings open and Mikaela stumbles a step back, her eyes dropping to the floor as my head snaps to the right.
Matthew is glaring at her. Just standing there, silently staring with fire burning in the set of his jaw, as she scurries around me and grabs the pills for her mom. She moves to his side quickly, glancing up at him through long lashes and my stomach sinks.
No matter what I thought I’d just felt between us, she doesn’t seem to have felt anything. In fact, she’s scared he’s misread it. Because, as she looks up at him and he stares silently down at her, she is pleading for him not to react.
It’s written all over her face.
Present
I stand in her doorway unsure of what to do. Unsure of what she wants me to do.
“Are you coming in?” She glances over her shoulder with a soft smile and I hesitate. Her smile falls. “Ben?”
“I want to,” I admit. “But I have something to say and, depending on how you react to that, I might be safer out here.”
She furrows her brow as she comes back to me, reaching for my hand and shaking her head. “I know I freaked out this morning, I’m sorry.”
