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With that, I throw my head back and let out a loud, completely ungraceful laugh that includes snorting and tears. I collapse on my knees to the side, clutching my stomach, thinking about Reed Davidson being injured by a classic novel.
"Oh god, that is the funniest thing I've ever heard." I rasp.
"Yeah? You think it's funny that I almost lost my dick to a book, Holland?" There's playfulness in his tone, but his words have the opposite effect. And that’s when I realize just how close we are. Somewhere in the shuffle, we've come so close together that I can feel how harshly he's breathing, whether it’s from the falling shelf or that he's feeling the same thing I am, I don’t know.
His deep brown eyes gaze into mine, and I suddenly feel exposed. Open. Raw.
On display for Reed Davidson.
"Holland." He whispers my name raggedly, and for the first time, I think he might feel the same way that I do. I can hear the tortured tone of his voice. The same hesitation that I feel, but wish wasn’t present; the same way that I want him to kiss me, but he knows he can’t.
That we can’t.
I tuck a loose piece of hair behind my ear and look away, the intensity of his stare burning directly to my core.
"Fuck, you're beautiful."
My heart begins to race in my chest, unsure of what's happening, but too selfish to stop it. His words cause me to shiver, a delicious fire that seems to start in my stomach and burn all the way to the sensitive spot between my thighs.
He leans closer, and I don't pull away. I simply suck in a gasp.
Ring, Ring, Ring
His phone sounds, causing us both to jump, and the spell we were just under to be broken.
"Shit." He clears his throat then curses before pulling it out of his pocket then swiping and answering. I busy myself by picking up the books around him while he talks.
"Hey Ma. Yeah, finishing up here and then I'll be on my way. I know. Yes. Yes. Ma... yes."
He ends the call and puts it back into his pocket. Just as quickly as the conversation starts, it's over, leaving us both in a tense, uncharted silence.
What happens now?
"You need a new furnace, Holl. This shit is not safe, and you can't run it. Someone would need to come out, inspect the gas lines, make sure everything is working properly, not to mention replace the damn furnace."
"I- we… It's just not possible right now, Reed," I whisper, feeling my cheeks aflame from embarrassment.
I hate the raw vulnerability I feel about exposing how bad our money situation is. It's embarrassing. But, it's the truth. The simple answer is we can't afford thousands of dollars on a furnace, and insurance is not going to cover manual wear and tear. We've needed to replace it for a while, but never had the funds to do so.
"What’s wrong? Is everything okay?"
I look away, unable to meet his stare. "We can't afford it. I have savings, but it's not nearly enough. We'll just have to make do."
"I'll pay for it all."
Whipping my head back to him my jaw drops. What?
He obviously got knocked in the head when the shelf fell. That's the only reason he'd say something so ludicrous.
"Absolutely not. I'll take care of it. The space heaters will be fine for now."
"Holland, I have the money. I have plenty of it. I won't be able to sleep at night knowing you're alone in this freezing-ass house." He shakes his head. "Just please, let me do this."
"No." I shake my head vehemently, and stand from the cold floor. "I told you I would handle it and I will. I'll pick up a few more shifts at the library when I’m not doing my online classes."
Reed stands abruptly and looks at me. He runs his hand through his beard before he starts to pace back and forth on the basement floor. "Listen... I have an idea. It might be fucking crazy, but I think- I think that it would work."
"Okay."
