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Changing the subject, I say, “So, um, have you been studying octopuses?”
Reed leans back against the headboard and shakes his head. “Nah, Evan saw the octopus onFinding Nemoand made me rewind it ten times, so I pulled up YouTube and we watched and learned random facts about octopuses. Kept him quiet for like an hour.”
I love hearing about Reed’s relationship with Evan. I have more respect and admiration for him now than ever before. Not many men would do what Reed did, especially not at the peak of their career and with the world at their fingertips. He’s a good man. The best man, and I've always known that. It's just different seeing him interact with Evan.
The thoughts in my head feel too intimate. Too much for this conversation, so I clear my throat. "What's up with the late-night call? Is there something we need to discuss for tomorrow?"
He runs his big, surly hand through his mop of dark hair before shaking his head. "Maybe I missed you, babe."
God, the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering wildly right now. Why does he have to bethischarming? He makes it so easy to feel things that I shouldn't, that Ican't.
"Did you?"
He shrugs. "Yeah, I did. Probably against the rules, but I've always been a rule breaker."
I laugh. It feels good. The ease I feel with Reed. But, it's also easy to forget that there are rules in place for a reason, and as much as I wish things were different, they won't be, can’t be. I have to protect my heart too.
“Maybe I missed you too.”
His lips tug up in a playful smirk. “Just maybe? Damn.”
Unable to stop it, I yawn. “God, I’m exhausted. I have a huge test to study for so I need to get some sleep. Em's going to help me study tomorrow night. But I'll see you on Friday? Okay?"
"Good luck on your test. Night, babe."
My heart skips slightly at his favorite name for me lately. "Night, Reed."
I press the end button, exiting FaceTime, but even after he's gone... I find myself still thinking of Reed, and maybe… definitely missing him too.
Rules be damned.
I spend the majority of the next day running errands, grocery shopping, and taking care of things around the house to make sure that when I head on the road again that my dad has everything he needs. This morning I had a talk with his nurses, and they assured me everything's okay, and they have it under control, but I still worry. It's who I am. I've spent the better part of my teenage and adult life worrying about him.
Guilt still sits heavy in the pit of my stomach.
Bringing the coffee to my lips, I take another sip, praying that it starts to work because my brain feels like it may be on the verge of crashing sometime soon.
I sigh and drop my head onto the textbook in front of me. Just when I think I've got it down, I begin to second-guess myself and the vicious cycle continues.
"You need a break. You're doing yourself no good like this," Emery says as she sits across from me. We've been at it for hours, and I feel no more prepared than I did when I sat down.
Maybe she's right, maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself.
"I feel like if I stare at this for even one more second, my head is going to explode."
"How about we go get a drink? Just step away for a second and then we'll come back and do another round."
"Okay, one hour. Then we come back. I have to ace this, Em."
Emery nods and thrusts my jacket at me. "Come on, it'll be super quick and give your brain a chance to relax."
We walk to Johnny's, a nearby sports bar that has food and drinks, and snag a booth near the front door. It's quiet for a Wednesday.
After taking her coat off, Emery orders us both a drink and an appetizer and then turns to face me. "So, how was the first time on the road with Reed and Evan? Tell me everything."
My heart speeds up in my chest. This is the part that I have been dreading like the plague. Shit, I don't want to lie to her and discussing Reed is withholding the truth. I don't think in all of the years that we've been friends, I've ever kept the truth from her.
I hate lying. And until now, I've never had anything to hide from Emery.
