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“No, oh God, no, of course this was real. Briggs, please, just listen to me. I-… I-, I tried to tell you so many times. I just didn’t want to hurt you, didn’t wantthisto happen. Not like this. I planned to tell you this weekend,” she pleads, still trying to step closer, but I continue to back away.
I can’t be close to her, not right now, not with how fucking hurt I am. How goddamn angry I am. She finally seems to understand that what I need is to know the truth, so she sits on the bed, clutching the towel around her, her eyes red and puffy from her already shed tears.
“I never expected to see you again, not after that night. When I found out I was pregnant, regardless of what my job was, I knew that I had to contact you. And then everything that happened with Conrad… I didn’t ever expect to even hear from you again. Not after the paperwork, the letter, and you signing away your rights. Then, I ran into you.” She swallows, her green eyes holding mine as she speaks, “And… At first, I figured that we were only co-parenting, and that bringing it up would only drag up the past, and I didn’t want to rock the boat. I didn’t want to tell anyone, Briggs, and that’s why I didn’t for so long.The Puck Bunnywas supposed to be anonymous, it was supposed to always be anonymous. But then things started to change. Briggs, I never expected to fall for you, I tried so hard…. And I knew once we started dating that I had to tell you, and I planned to. God, I wanted to so many times, I just couldn’t, not knowing that it would be hurting you. I told myself it was never the right time, but I was terrified.” She pauses, sucking in a breath, her chest heaving as she tries to calm herself. “I was so terrified you’d hate me and you’d leave, and that you would never forgive me.”
Every single word she speaks is like a deeper slash to my heart. The woman I love more than anything has betrayed me, just like every other fucking person I’ve ever loved.
“When is the right time to hurt the person you love? Never Briggs. It never felt okay to do it, even though I knew I needed to. Briggs, the second that you walked back into our lives, I stopped reporting on your personal life. On anyone’s personal life, really.”
I scoff. “Oh so that makes it better? That you didn’t spend the last three years reporting on every goddamn fuckup that I did. Fuck, I can’t even believe this.”
I drag my hand down my face, in utter disbelief that this is even happening. Never once did this cross my mind, I mean the fucking Puck Bunny?
“It was a job, Briggs. I never set out to hurt you or anyone in any way, all I was doing was reporting the news, just like every other outlet. How do you think I paid for school? Supported Olive and me through my pregnancy when I was alone? I had to rely on it.”
My gaze lifts back to hers. “You have no idea what I fucking went through, Maddison. I lost endorsements, I almost lost my hockey career, I lost my family. And every single bit of it was plastered on your page for views. You singled me out during the lowest point of my life and fucking made everything so much worse.”
“Briggs-” she starts.
“Don’t. I can’t be here right now. I can’t do this.” I know with what I’m feeling, I need to put space between Madison and me. “To be clear, no matter what happens between you and me… I will never leave my daughter. I’m walking out of this room right now because I honestly can’t even look at you, but I’mnotleaving Olive.”
Even as angry as I am, seeing Maddison cry kills me. It physically pains me to see her tears, but right now, I can’t even stand being here another second.
I don’t even know where to go, but right now, I have to get out of this room before I say something that I can’t take back.
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and I love you no matter what. Even though you’re angry at me… I never meant to hurt you, Briggs. I would’ve never reported what I did, had I known that it was hurting you the way that it was. Please, forgive me. I’m so sorry, I- I.” She’s sputtering, and it takes everything inside me not to fall apart with her.
Emotion clogs my throat as I try to suck in a steady breath, but my chest feels like it’s split open.
“If that was true, you would have never let this go on as long as it did. You fucking humiliated me, you betrayed me, and sorry isn’t enough. I can’t do this.”
She cries harder as I speak, only breaking my fucking heart more.
I wrench the door open and walk out, forcing myself not to look back.
I find myself out on the very dock that I sat with Maddison, just over a year ago. The sun’s setting behind the clouds, the shadow cast on the lake. There’s a stillness around me, a quiet that I haven’t felt in a long time and I’m truly alone with my thoughts.
I’m trying to process what I’ve learned, but it makes me sick to even think about it. Maddison is The Puck Bunny, and no matter how hard it is to accept, I have to.
Fuck, she might as well have ripped my heart from my chest.
That means when I think of the anonymous blogger who made my life a living hell for the past three years, I have to think of Maddison. The woman I love, with every fiber of my being. The mother of my child. The woman who has changed me in more ways than I can even say.
She's taught me patience. She’s helped me become a man I can be proud of. The one who doesn’t act in anger, who thinks things through before making decisions. She and Olive both, they’ve changed me.
And I knew that before now. I knew the moment that I saw Olive that my life would never be the same, and it hasn’t been. It’s been fucking amazing.
Having a family. Having two girls who are the center of my universe. Knowing that at the end of the day, even when shit’s gone all wrong, I have them to come home to.
Why would she lie? Why couldn’t she just have told me. If she did, everything would be different.
I wouldn’t feel like I barely know her, or like every single thing thus far has been a fucking lie. Do I even know the real Maddison?
Part of me wants to believe that I do, that I know her better than anyone, inside and out, but right now, I feel like I’m doubting everything.
Us. Our relationship. Every damn thing she’s touched feels stained with her betrayal right now.
Sitting here on the same dock where I unknowingly began to fall in love with Maddison, my heart feels like it’s in pieces, and I don’t know how to put it back together.
