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Seven
I replayher words over and over in my head, letting them sink in.
“I know we kind of said that we weren’t going to talk about our problems, but I don’t know, after this weekend, I feel like I could tell you anything. Honestly, more than a lot of the people in my life. If you want to talk, then...I’m here for you too,” she says softly, her eyes softening when our gaze meets.
I give her a small smile. “Only if you tell me yours.”
Sighing heavily, she nods. “Okay.” She turns toward me, drawing her knees up to her chest, and begins, “Tyler is my best friend. We grew up and did everything together. I mean everything. I can’t remember a childhood memory that doesn’t have Ty in it. Our summers were spent out here at Grams and Gramps, on this very lake. When college started, we went together. Our dorm rooms were across campus from each other, but we each saved up from our part-time jobs and eventually moved in together.”
I bristle at the thought of her having something more with this guy and then I realize how fucking stupid that is. I have no right, but it doesn’t tamper the flare of jealousy that sparks inside me. I don’t even know where she’s from or her last name; it’s a fling, but it doesn’t stop that feeling.
She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, gazing out to the distance. “Everyone always assumed we would end up together. You know, actually together, but it was never like that for us. Neither of us ever had any feelings that were anything other than platonic.” She pauses, looking back at me. “The other night, we got in a silly,stupidfight. He was angry about…something with my job. Something that he doesn’t agree with, and we both said things that neither of us meant, and once it was over… we couldn’t take those things back. It was too late. They had already pierced my heart and I couldn’t just forget that they'd been said. I’ve just been struggling with things, to find our friendship again, to find us, despite what was said.” She wipes away a tear that’s fallen. “I mean, he knows me better than anyone. He knows my character, and who I am. I just thought he’d support me no matter what.”
Tears well in her eyes. “He’s like a brother to me and I love him, and I know he would never hurt me, he just is very… opinionated on things, and he lashed out at me when he was angry.”
“Come ‘ere,” I say, pulling her into my arms. Her small frame fits against my chest as she slides into my lap and sinks into my embrace. She sniffles, and I feel bad for even bringing up the deep shit in the first place.
“We apologized and said we were going to move forward but… It hurt me and I’m having a hard time forgetting it happened. I just… I wish that he would’ve never said the things that he did.”
I nod. “I understand. You have every right to be hurt, but also things get said whenever people are angry. Trust me, I’ve done my fair share of it. Everyone is worthy of forgiveness. It sounds like you two love each other, and that means no matter what, you’ll work through it.”
Her tear-filled eyes meet mine and we share a look, one that I feel in the pit of my stomach, then she leans forward and kisses me sweetly. “Thank you, Briggs. That’s great advice.”
Part of me is curious what problem her friend would have with her job, but we agreed to be strangers, and I don't want to take advantage of her vulnerability with my questions, so I choose something lighter.
“Are you a spy?” I ask. “Because it seems like you might be and I just want you to know, I’m good with a Mr. and Mrs. Smith kinda thing. It’s kinda hot,” I say to lighten the mood.
She throws her head back and laughs. “Not quite. Nothing so scandalous, Romeo. Now it’s your turn. I bared my truth.”
Hell, I’m not ready for this conversation. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for it. The same familiar pain flares inside me, but I tamper it down.
Even though it physically pains me to utter the words out loud, I do, and I think Maddison has everything to do with it. “I walked in on my brother having sex with my fiancé, in our bed.”
Maddison completely stills in my arms and lets out a strangled gasp as soon as the words leave my mouth.
“Oh Briggs,” she whispers, turning around in my lap to where her legs are on each side of my hips as she cradles my unshaved face in her hands. “I am so, so sorry.”
I clear my throat, trying to unclog the emotion that has me almost choking. “The truth is, losing her didn’t faze me. She was never who I was meant to be with and this shit opened my eyes to that. But losing my brother? It killed me. It kills me to this day.”
Saying it out loud should bring me some relief, but all I feel is more hurt and hatred for Beau and everything he’s done to our family. To me.
“Needless to say, my trust is fucked. The two people I cared about more than anything in the world, betrayed me. I lost my shit, literally and figuratively. Hurt everyone I loved because I was hurting. You know that saying, “hurt people, hurt people?” That’s what my life was like for two years. I fucked up at every turn, and now… now I’m trying to fix those mistakes. It just seems like no matter which way I turn; I keep being reminded of those mistakes, which never allows me to move past them.”
A look passes across Maddison’s face, one that I can’t place. Pity? Probably. This is why I never wanted her to know who I was. This is why I haven't mentioned hockey, or the issues that can come with being in the public eye. I’m too scared that once she finds all the articles about my fuckups, and how shitty of a person I’ve been for the past two years that she’ll never look at me the same.
Without all of that shit dragging me down, she knows me. The real me, without all of that bullshit.
“Listen to me.” She turns my face in her hands, so my eyes are on her. “Your past does not define you. You are allowed to be hurt, you are allowed to do whatever the fuck you have to do to move past it, and those that love you won’t hold it against you as long as you learn. You grow. Don’t let them have another second of your life when they don’t deserve it.”
I don’t even pause to think, I lean forward and kiss her. I show her how much I needed to hear those words, to feel for the first time that I’m more than a giant fuck-up. That this pain and betrayal is only temporary and that one day I’ll be better than I was before it.
I lose myself in her. Shut out the rest and do nothing but feel her lips beneath mine. Her body commanding mine in a way that feels liberating.
“Shit,” she mutters against my lips, still pressed tightly against my body as we breathe each other in raggedly.
Pulling back, I see what she’s talking about. The sky around us has turned black, and storm clouds are rolling in quickly.
“We have to go. Now.” She leaps off my lap and grabs her bag, throwing it over her shoulder. I slide my hand in hers, and this time, we waste no time making it down the trail toward the boat. The last thing we needed to do is be caught out on the boat in the middle of another storm like yesterday when we arrived at the inn. A torrential flood.
