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“We can have the ultrasound technician write the gender down, and then we can drop it off at the bakery. They can fill a cupcake, so we can be surprised.”
“Fuck, I’m excited, Em. It makes all of this much more real, you know?”
I nod, placing a hand on the flurry of movement in my stomach.
Graham’s eyes dart down to my stomach.
“Can I talk to them?” he asks quietly, nodding at my stomach. “The babies?”
“Of course. They’re really active tonight.”
He rises and puts my feet back on the couch before sinking to his knees next to me. Tenderly, he places his hand on my stomach and rubs.
“Hey baby beans, it’s your daddy.”
Oh god, I’m going to cry. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for how…sweetit would be to see Graham on his knees, talking to our babies. His brow is furrowed in concentration, like finding the right words is the most important thing he’ll ever do.
His throat bobs as he swallows, then he leans forward and begins speaking to them, “I can’t wait to find out what you’re going to be tomorrow, but if my gut is right… you’re girls. That’s scary as fu-… I mean heck. I don’t know much about girls, but I do know that even if I somehow mess everything up… well, I’ll love you both more than you’ll ever know.”
A tear falls before I can stop it, and he looks up when I sniffle, then reaches out shakily and swipes the fallen tear away with his thumb. Delicately. Tenderly.
It makes my chest ache.
Still holding my gaze, he continues speaking to the babies, but it feels like he’s speaking directly to me.
“I'll do everything I can to make you happy, and I’ll never be the one to make you cry. I’ll be the one to wipe away your tears and show you that it’ll be okay. You and your mama are my whole life.”
Oh god, my heart. It can’t take this. The emotion in his face is palpable. I can feel it hanging around us both, the ferocity of his words and what he feels for our babies.
“I know that I’m probably going to make a bunch of mistakes before I get it right. I’ll forget things and lose your bows all over the house. Burn dinner. Miss practices. I’m bound to forget your favorite dress-up outfit. But I’ll always show up. I’ll always be there when you need me. Your biggest fan on the sidelines, and I know that you’ll both be mine. When I’m on the ice, I can’t wait to look over and see you there with your mama cheering me on. I wanna be your best friend just like my dad was mine. I promise I’ll love you, forever and a day. Always.” He clears his throat, rubbing his hand tenderly back and forth over my round belly before leaning forward and placing a kiss there.
“Graham…” I whisper. Emotion settles in my throat, causing the words I want to say to be lost. They disappear before I can even utter them.
Even long after he’s left, promising to be back bright and early for our appointment, I replay his words in my head.
And when I sleep, I dream of Graham.
“I’m nervous. But in a good way, the exciting way where I haven’t been able to sit still all day. Or that could be the twelve bottles of water I drank so the babies would be active for the ultrasound,” I say.
Graham squeezes my hand gently, and I smile. His excitement is infectious. His leg has been nervously bouncing since we got to my house after our appointment… then stopping at the bakery. We’re sitting on the floor of what will be the babies’ makeshift room, two cupcakes sitting in the box between us. They’re nondescript. Plain white icing, with a white holder.
No hints, not one clue about what’s inside.
This is it. The moment we’ve been waiting for.
Once we take a bite, we’ll know what our babies are.
It’s a big moment, and… I’m thankful that I have Graham here with us. I’m even more grateful he agreed to do it with just the two of us.
It makes the moment even more special to me. A bubble of just us. Before the world around us erupts in excited chaos.
He’s convinced they’re girls, but honestly, I’m not sure. Sometimes I think they’re boys, and others, I’m convinced they’re girls that’ll look just like their daddy.
Either way… I’m happy. All I want is two healthy, happy babies and I’ll be content.
I think back to when we found out I was pregnant and how badly Graham wanted boys, but now he has completely changed his tune.
I’ve seen Graham with Olive. How patient, attentive, and gentle he is with her. He’s exactly the way his mother described him, hard exterior but soft and tender on the inside. Except when it comes to those he loves.
