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She’d never really confided in me about anything. Everything I’d gathered about her was through observation. She was an honest person who strived for greatness, and she had an attitude while she did it. She was different from the rest of us because she still possessed her moral compass. But she didn’t understand the real world didn’t play by the rules. It played for survival.
I approached her building.
“Just drop me off here, and I’ll walk up.”
I wasn’t giving up that easily. “I’m walking you to your door.”
“I don’t need you to walk me to my door.”
I ignored her and parked.
When she didn’t get what she wanted, she sighed and shoved the door open.
I followed behind her and walked up the stairs until we arrived at her door.
She unlocked the door and stepped inside without looking at me, shutting the door in my face.
I steadied it with my hand and invited myself inside.
“I just want to be alone—”
My hand slid into her hair, and I kissed her. My arm hugged her waist, and I pulled her close, heating her up after the frozen walk to her apartment. I gently guided her against the wall, to the place where I’d fucked her the last time I was here.
She kissed me back, slightly timid because of her previous rage.
I pulled away and locked the door behind me. My jacket slid down my arms before I hung it on the coatrack. My tie joined it.
She watched me. “You’re presumptuous.”
“I know.” I kicked off my shoes and unbuttoned my collared shirt, getting the layers off my body until I was just in my slacks.
She finally took off her coat and left her heels by the door. She was still in a foul mood, so it didn’t seem like sex was on the menu tonight. Truth be told, I didn’t come there to be inside her.
I just wanted to talk to her.
What kind of man was I? That wasn’t me.
She grabbed a bottle of wine and uncorked it.
Instead of snatching it away, I let her be.
She set two glasses on the dining table and filled them to the brim. She sat in her red dress and took a deep drink, handling it like juice instead of alcohol.
She was the most complex person I’d ever met. “What don’t I know?”
She cocked her head slightly.
“Tell me.”
“Honestly, the last thing I want to do is talk about my family. I never ask you about yours.”
“It wouldn’t bother me if you did.” She never asked anything remotely personal, trying to keep this arrangement as sterile as possible. In her defense, she’d told me what she wanted on day one. It was the same behavior I directed toward tons of women. I wasn’t playing hard to get; I was just being honest so they wouldn’t expect anything more out of me. Now the roles had reversed…and I was infatuated with a woman who didn’t give a damn about me. Maybe it was karma. “I know all of this has been a big pill to swallow. Enormous. But as you get older, you start to realize that life isn’t fair, that no one plays by the rules, that the most honorable people are liars. Your family has done what was necessary to survive. You should never apologize for what you have to do to support your family.”
She stared at me coldly.
“Your comment about my relationship with prostitutes is unfair. Prostitution is the oldest profession in the world. They do what’s necessary to survive—”
“You misunderstood me. I don’t judge women for being whores or strippers. They can do whatever they want. I was just caught off guard when you admitted you use their services. You’re so goddamn beautiful that you can have any woman you want. Why would you need to pay for it? And secondly, I’m not living in a fairy tale. I understand the difference between good and evil is separated by miles of gray area. No one is completely good, because if they were, they wouldn’t be good. My issue is, everything I’d been told is bullshit. Nothing is real. Acclimating to that has been difficult. I’m not some stuck-up brat who needs to get her way. It’s just painful to learn that the one good thing about your late father is a lie. So he was never good…he was always bad.”
I held on to my glass as I stared at her, afraid to say anything because it might spook her. She was finally giving me insight into her world, finally showing me who she was.
“My mother told me I have to marry a powerful man for the family. If I ever want that hotel business, it’s a requirement. Watching her manipulate my life like that, playing cupid and pulling on invisible strings like I’m a puppet…is sickening. You’re the only man I want, but watching her push you on me makes me want you less.”
