Page 112 of Gangsters and Guns


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Hands shaking, I pull his file and flip it open. The very first item is a picture of a man who could be Marvin heading into the police station. Indecision rages within me. What do I do? This could be the very evidence that brings the Dixens down, but is that what I want?

Picture in hand, I rush back to my office and pull out the phone Bronson gave me. I take a picture of the photo, then hurriedly replace it on top of the file and close the drawer. Back in my office, I sit and stare at the picture on my phone, wondering what to do. Unable to make the decision just yet, I shut the phone and toss it into my purse, then I rub my temples as a headache squeezes my brain.

Why does everything in my life have to be so difficult? Why can’t I have just one fucking day where there is no stress? Where I’m not riddled with worry? Where I’m not existing under the critical eyes of such powerful men?

I can’t be here anymore…

After finishing up the last of my to-do list, I pack up my laptop and head home. Maddox said I can work from home now, and today, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

Just like the drive in, my ride home is over before I even realize it. I rush upstairs, strip the fucking dress off my body, and slip into a baby blue nightie and a fuzzy robe. Curled up on the couch next to Mischief, I let down my guard and allow the tears to flow freely from my eyes.

Every decision I make seems to have such severe consequences, so I have to figure out which one will hurt me less. Both options will cause me great pain, and I won’t be able to recover from either.

So what do I do?

Bronson is threatening to lock me up in jail.

The Dixens could destroy me.

My brother…

The murder…

For the first time in my life, I consider numbing the pain with drugs or alcohol, because right now, the ache in my chest is too great to withstand, yet too powerful to ignore.

“I can’t fucking do this anymore,” I sob to Mischief, who nuzzles into my neck, giving me a hug. Holding him tight, I cry myself to sleep and hope that when I wake up, all my troubles will just melt away.

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