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I relaxed when I saw Odran slipping unseen up the tree. He wobbled after perching on the branch beside me, and I reached out to steady him.
“Appreciate it.” He let out an exhale, black eyes filled with disdain as he peered down. “I despise heights.”
“Why are you here?” I whispered.
“I wanted to make sure you were alright. There’s a lake close by that I travel to sometimes.” Black eyes gazed at me seriously. “I spoke to the prince.”
My brows pinched. “Who?”
“The prince. Who came to my lake when you were there.”
I stared at him. “Huh? I don’t remember seeing anyone while I was there.”
He watched me in silence for a moment, before murmuring, “Never mind. Did you see the Brid?”
My mouth flattened into a grim line. “Yeah.”
I didn’t voice the intense urge I’d felt when I’d seen her, feeling embarrassed by it. By the childish desire to stand up and yell, ‘Look! I’m here! Still alive! Full fae!’ just to see how she’d react. Whether she’d be pleased to see me. Whether she felt anything for me.
“Did it do what you’d hoped?”
I frowned at Odran’s question. I didn’t know what I’d hoped seeing the Brid would achieve or give me. I didn’t really know why I was here, except that aside from finally seeing my birth mother, I had wanted to see the Carlin. Her sons. To prove to myself that they were just people—killable, just like her guards. I imagined her face if I had stood up in the tree and stared down at her. If she and her sons had seen me, alive and healthy and full-fae, just like she’d wanted, but not trapped and chained up in her court.
No matter what I did—no matter how well I adapted to my new life out here—something always felt wrong. Off. Something was missing, but I didn’t know what.
Was it knowing about the Brid? Was it my unfulfilled bloodlust towards the Carlin and her sons?
The restlessness was growing inside me every day, urging me todosomething. But nothing I did made it go away.
Determination stiffened my limbs. The Midsith was a neutral place. No powers worked in there. It was safe. It was the safest place in the world right now, with the two queens inside where they were defenceless.
I gritted my teeth. I wanted them to see me. All of them. I wanted to show the Carlin that I was whole and healthy and away from her grasp. I wanted Balor to see me withtwo fucking arms.I wanted the Brid to see me alive and full fae.
I wanted all of them to know they hadn’t won.
“I’m going in there,” I murmured before I even knew I was going to speak.
Odran stiffened beside me. “What?”
“I’m going in there. I want them to see me.”
“Why?” He sounded utterly perplexed.
I looked over at him, my brows pulled low. “They can’t do anything to me in there, can they? Not until they get back to their own land, and I’ll be long gone by then. The Carlin already knows I’m out here. So what difference does it make?”
“Because the Brid maynotknow,” he hissed. “And you don’t know what she will do when she finds out you are here. Alive and full fae.”
“She can’t do anything though,” I insisted, my mouth stretching into a wide grin. “She’s powerless in there.”
Odran shook his head, black eyes flashing as he glanced behind me at the Midsith. “It’s still a very, very bad idea, Ash. It will achieve nothing. And the Bridisn’tpowerless in there. She still has her words. Her voice. She can make people do anything. Anything she wants, even without her powers as a spellsmith.”
“I’m doing it.” I moved to jump down from the tree, but Odran’s hand shot out to grip my arm.
“Please.” His black eyes were serious as he stared at me. “Think this through. Think of Nua and Gillie.”
Guilt made my stomach churn.
“I won’t say a word about them,” I promised him. “I’d never risk them. Ever.”
“I don’t just mean the risk to them. They love you. If they knew you were considering this—”
“I’ll tell them when I get home, I promise,” I whispered. “I won’t hide it from them. I just want to—I want…”
“This is foolish,” Odran hissed. “Anger is clouding your judgement.”
I faltered. I knew Odran was right. It was stupid and dangerous to even consider setting foot in there.
But then I pictured the Carlin and her sons. The Brid, wanting me dead as a boy. Boiling rage drowned everything else out. Calculating fury made me shake off Odran’s hand, drop down from the tree and stride towards the Midsith entrance, ignoring the startled sounds from the solitary Folk still gathered.
Fuck all of them. They would see that none of them had won. None of them had beaten me.
