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Twenty-Six
Exhale the Past Inhale the future.
Vannah
Strangely, her heartbeat even more erratically now than when she’d been pulling the prank on him. At least then she knew what to expect. She knew he’d be livid, and she knew exactly why. But she didn’t know what to make of his deadpan expression now. Was he upset? Was this too personal of a subject for her to be asking about, even after over two months of them seeing each other?
Staring into his eyes she squeezed his forearm. “I’m sorry you don’t have to—”
“I’d known her most my life,” he said before she could finish. “We went to the same grade school. At fourteen she was my first kiss ever and at fifteen she became my first everything else. We were probably way too young. But I’d gone over to her house like I’d often done when she was babysitting her younger sisters and like we’d been doing for weeks, once her sisters fell asleep, we started making out and it just happened.”
Swallowing hard, Vannah listened, squelching back the unreasonable jealousy. This was over ten years ago and the girl he spoke of was dead now. Even so, judging by the still pained expression, unarguably this girl had meanta lotto him.
He chuckled humorlessly, lifting, and dropping a shoulder. “You can imagine what that does to a boy at that age. I was completely hooked. I thought I was in love.” For the first time since he started talking about Lizzette, the pained expression morphed into a smirk. “Even though I fumbled my way through it each time we had sex. I had no idea what I was doing and at fifteen none of my friends did either.” The smirk withered suddenly, and he glanced away. “Then three months later she and her dad were killed when a drunk driver hit them head on. I was devastated. In those past three months before her death, she was all I could think of and suddenly she was just gone. My world changed like that.” He snapped his finger. “I was just a kid and thought my life was over. Thankfully, my mom was there and got methrough it. It was then that I first learned that forgetting was the best cure to any heartache.”
Finally feeling like she should say something, Vannah said what she’d been stuck on since he’d said it. “Sounds to me like she was your first and only love. You said youthoughtyou were in love. Weren’t you?”
With a weak tilt of his head, he smiled pensively before looking into her eyes again. “I was fifteen, Savannah. What did I know about love? I kissed her on a dare at fourteen, but it wasn’t until almost a year later that she invited me tohang outwith her while she babysat her sisters that we made out for the first time. Not to take anything from her, she was a sweet girl, cute as fuck and she laughed a lot, like you.” He smiled pecking her. “What made her laugh? I couldn’t tell you. I knew little about her. We hardly talked. I know now my fifteen-year-old ass was in love with what kissing and touching her did to my inexperienced heart. Up until last year I really considered her the love of my life. Ironically, if you’d asked me a few weeks ago, I might’veinsistedI was in love with her. But I now know that while I’m sure I did love her to some extent, even as little as I knew about love then, that wasn’t real love—true love. I can admit now that aside from us sharing something as unforgettable as being each other’s first everything, it wasn’t true love. There was little substance, other than both of us being so bewildered by the novelty of it all.”
“Why?” Vannah shook her head not understanding. This sounded like textbook first love to her. “Why do you say that?”
“Because.” He cradled her face in his big hands gazing deep into her eyes. “As much as it will forever be a beautiful memory, I’ve lived long enough to know I loved her as much as a fifteen-year-old thought he knew about love. But my grown ass knows better now. My mom was the one who opened my eyes to this just last year. After getting tired of watching me push through one meaningless connection after another, she finally took me aside and gave me a good talking to. I realized how wrong I’d been for years.”
Staring into her eyes like he had so many times, Byron shook his head looking more anxious than Vannah had ever seen him before. Even when he’d been faced with her dad and uncles.
“After only two months of being with you, there aresomany reasons, IknowI’m soinsanelyin love with you, Savannah.” Vannah nearly gasped as he gazed into her eyes. For a moment she thought she might swoon and then he went on. “I love you, baby. Lizette may’ve been my first everything, but for the life of me I can’t remember much more about our connection. I can’t even recall a single deep conversation we had. Not like now, when I lie awake at night thinking of everything we spoke of that day. I’ve never smiled and laughed so much as I have since I met you.” Savannah’s brows pinched instantly as she felt her throat swell. “Losing someone I was so close to and hung out with almost on the daily, so suddenly and tragically was, and will forever be, a pivotal part of my past. But as far as real love is concerned, I know better now that I’ve experienced it as an adult. There’s so much more to why I’ve fallen for you. As pissed as I was that night at Frat Row about you thinking I was taking advantage of your friend, I look back now and know even if I didn’t know it then, I was instantly brought to my knees when your tiny ass came at me like a bat out of hell to rescue her.”
Vannah’s hands were at her mouth now holding back her emotions as he smiled and went on.
“Grumpy ass people like myself, have never liked, nor enjoyed giddy people like you. Yet, I’ve never gotten enough of seeing your smile and hearing your laugh since that first day. As much as I cringe at the thought of having to be around him, I love that you think your scary-as-fuck dad is ateddy bear.” He laughed shaking his head even as her lips began to quiver. “I love how much affection you have for that evil sister of yours, and you two squeal and hug each other like you haven’t seen each other in years, even if it’s been just weeks.” He slowed when he saw how emotional this was all making her. “I love that you buy books on OfferUp to save your family money. Seriously, have you not seen how big that restaurant, slash multi banquet hall is? And that’s justoneof their restaurants!”
She nudged him smirking even through her tears. “That still doesn’t make me entitled to any of it.”
“And Ifuckinglove that about you, too.” He kissed her then squeezed her with another grunt then turned to the food she’d begun to prepare for him on the counter. “I love that I already know, you can warm a tortilla for me, and it’ll be the best one I’ve ever tasted notjustbecause you made it for me, but because you were smiling and laughing the whole time.” He pulled her against him even tighter. “I love how after getting sucked into youso easily,then meeting the enormous backing you have from all those who love you, the biggest worry in those bright eyes for you is your future. More than anything, I love that you genuinely don’t seem to know just how lovable you are for so many reasons. Not just because you’re beautiful beyond words, inside and out. You really don’t realize how many people out there, your parents, uncles,meand every fucking guy that meets you from here on, would be willing to take care of you forever.”
“I don’t wanna be taken care of.” She pulled away shaking her head, wiping away tears but he pulled her back to him and she was grateful for it. “I’ll take care of myself and I know now I’ll figure out my future eventually. Yes, it was one of my biggest worries for a long time. But after meeting you a different more terrifying fear took over. My biggest worry now is getting my heart broken.”
“I told you before, baby.” He lifted her into his arms hugging her tightly. “I’llneverhurt you.”
“God, I hope not.” She gasped wrapping her arms around his neck. “Because . . .” She hesitated for a moment,terrifiedabout admitting it. But given everything he’d just admitted and heeding her mother’s adamant warnings, she trounced her fear as her emotions completely gave and she felt her face crumble. “I’msoin love with you too.”
For a second he froze but held her tight. “Yeah?”
She nodded, burying her head in the shaft of his neck. “Yes,” she gasped. “I don’t know how you plunged into my life out of nowhere like this and this happened so fast, but I love, love,loveyou, Byron. So much!”
“Fuck!” He groaned hugging her even tighter. “I’ve been wondering the exact same thing almost since the night I met you.”
After making sure all the burners on the stove were off, Byron whisked her off into the bedroom. As expected, and so very grateful for it, Vannah was completely naked and lying underneath his big hard body within minutes. As usual, her body willingly succumbed to his every touch, taste, kiss and stroke as he made love to her over and over as if they’d been doing so forever.
The initial startling call had come at three AM, waking them out of their spent stupors. Any call at that time of night would shake anyone up, and Byron had jumped out of bed looking, and sounding every bit as alarmed as Vannah had felt. But the dread had been fleeting. His brother Beast had been calling from the hospital to let Byron know his wife Ali had just given birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy. Byron all set to head straight to the hospital on the spot, but after his brother let him know they were both exhausted and visiting hours weren’t until later that morning anyway, Byron and Vannah had gone back to bed. Though as usual sleep was the last thing on their mind.
Beast had asked Byron to pick up his girls at Ali’s sister’s. Ali’s sister Lila, a former women’s boxing champ herself had a previously planned business trip out of town that day that she couldn’t get out of.
Lila was already gone when Beast asked him to pick them up and bring them to the hospital. The girls were in the care of Lila’s nanny in the meantime. Vannah had heard so much about Elsa and Lucy from Byron, that she felt like she knew them already, but she hadn’t expected the overload of cuteness. When they arrived, the girls ran straight to their squatting uncle’s open arms. “Uncle, B!”
“We have a new baby bwuduh.” The youngest one said.
“I heard,” Byron said hugging them both, then pulling back to look at them, still squatting before them. “Congratulations, big sisters. You ready to go meet him?”
