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Twenty-Four: Decisions
Xochitl
For the first time in all the years she’d been attending the university, Xochitl cut classes for an entire week and even called in for her weekend coveted internship at Pixar which she’dneverdone. She’d been a mess ever since Lex had pulled the Xochitl, and completely cut her off. Unlike when she’d cut him off though, but couldn’t bring herself to completely block him, he’d even blocked her. She remembered how he’d said he would’ve read every single one of her texts had it been the other way around and she could only assume now he didn’t want to be tempted to. It’s how disgusted with her he was, and as much as it hurt, she couldn’t even blame him now.
The whole week, she’d barely gotten out of bed, and she was certain she’d made herself sick. Because each day that passed and she didn’t hear from him, was so much more agonizing than the last, that she’d since lost her appetite. Which she was sure was contributing to her feeling so weak and tired.
Halfway through the week, she braved a call in to Vannah. She’d assumed it’s where Lex was now staying, and she’d been afraid to call her since she also assumed her bestie not calling Xochitl meant she was just as disgusted with her as Lex was. But to her surprise, Vannah was as cheery as ever and obviously completely oblivious about everything since she even asked about him. Xochitl nearly gave in and told her, but she held in the tears and decided not to. She just couldn’t.
It was Sunday after the big blow up, just that previous Tuesday and it’d been just as long since Xochitl had even left her dorm when she got the knock at the door. She jumped so fast from the bed she had a dizzy spell, but her heart raced praying it was him. Her feet couldn’t move fast enough as she rushed through the front room. She knew she looked like a total mess, with her puffy bloodshot eyes, and big red nose, but at least she’d managed to get in the shower every day. Running her fingers through her hair to fix up the matted mess a little, she braced herself as she reached for the door and opened it.
Vannah stood there holding a tin of food and pouted. It’s all it took to have Xochitl falling apart all over again. Vannah knew, and she wasn’t disgusted with Xochitl since she was here bearing the gift of food. “Oh, honey,” Vannah stepped in and brought her arm around Xochitl. “Iknowthere has to be a perfectly valid reason, for what Lex is making sound so profoundly unforgivable.”
“There isn’t.” Xochitl whimpered. “I lied to him, Vannah. I met up with that awful man who caused all the uproar with your family even after I found out last weekend what he’d done and kept it from Lex. And then Gordo ended up getting arrested because of me. But it wasn’t even the first time I lied to him. He’d been mad about it in the past, and I promised I’d never lie again and then I did again and again. I don’t blame him for never forgiving me. I’m a horrible girlfriend—a horrible person.”
“Okay, we know that’s not true.” Vannah pulled her along to the kitchen with her. “But you dolookhorrible,” she smirked. “You don’t smell horrible, so I take it you’ve at least been showering.”
“It’s theonlything I’ve done since he left.” Xochitl sniveled. “I get out of bed, take a shower in hopes that it might motivate me to leave this dorm, but then get right back in bed and cry myself to sleep again.”
“You haven’t left the dorm since this happened?” Vannah put the tin of food down on the table and stared at her wide eyed. “What about your classes?”
“I don’t even care anymore,” Xochitl started crying all over again.
Bringing her arms around her again, Vannah rubbed her back. “Well, for you to miss classes over this and not care anymore, I know you must really have it bad for my brother. So, while I don’t condone lying, and Iknowyou’re not a horrible person, I’m sure you had good reason.”
“Not really,” Xochitl shook her head as she pulled away and reached for a napkin from the table. She’d gone over this all week now and the more she thought about it, the angrier she was at herself for hurting Lex. Because she’d seen the look on his face the day he left. There was no doubt about it. She hurt him and she’d never forgive herself either.
After blowing her nose and taking a seat at the table at Vannah’s insistence that she eat, she began explaining her lame reasons for lying. First about keeping the fact that she’d continued to stay in touch with Cade even after she and Lex had made things official, but only because there was no denying how annoyed it made him. “You’d always stayed in touch with Cade even when you two were broken up,” Vannah said serving Xochitl her favoritequesabirria. “I know and absolutely understood that it was never for romantic reasons. Especially after that long talk we had the night before you broke up with him, because you just didn’t feel for him what you knew you should. But I’m not surprised my brother wouldn’t understand.”
“Well, he didn’t.” Xochitl dipped thequesabirriainto the consommé. For the first time in almost a week she felt an inkling of a desire to eat. “So, I stopped mentioning every time Cade and I would so much as text, and much less talk on the phone and when Lex found out he was pissed.”
“Yep,” Vannah took a bite of herquesabirrianodding then wiping her mouth. “I’m sure he had a cow. But in my opinion, that’s not so much lying than just trying to avoid tension for norealreason. Trust me, I know all about that. If that makes you a horrible person, then I’m right up there with you. But you said you lied again and again.” Vannah smirked rolling her eyes. “What else you got for me? Because he made it sound like you did it a zillion times.”
Xochitl thought about that, then counted the amount of tense conversations they’d had over her lying by omission. “It was three times.” Vannah chuckled nodding again. “Yeah, that’s about right. Zillion, three, Lex’s version of it was as close as I imagined.”
“But they werebad,” Xochitl insisted struggling to stop her lips from quivering.
She told her about the second time, how she’d known he’d be irritated by her lunch meeting with hercreepyweb designer last Saturday. One she now knew was not only as creepy as Vannah deemed him, but a conniving asshole. “I knew about it weeks prior but didn’t see the point in Lex being all irritated for that long. So, I waited until he was almost out of the car at the airport that morning when I mentioned it, because I wanted to at least do that before he left and—”
“Let me guess.” Vannah wiped her mouth. “He had a cow again.”
“Yes, and the worst thing was that I promised to never do that again.” Xochitl told her about how stunned she’d been to find out her web designer was the same guy Lex spoke about at their aunt’s birthday party. “I literally choked on my drink.”
This time Vannah nearly spit outherdrink, and Xochitl had to look down when she heard the tapping on the floor. Vannah was doing the running in place thing she always did when she cracked up so heartedly. Only this was her sitting version of it. She shook her head reaching for another napkin. “Oh my God!” She laughed only as heartedly as Vannah could during a conversation that was supposed to be a somber one. “That’swhy you nearly choked out a lung that day?”
“Yes!” For the first time since Lex left, even Xochitl actually smirked. “It washorrible, Vannah. I was so stunned I hardly slept that night. Or for the next two nights after, because I had to keep reaching out to Rigo since my website was being such a pain. I had that presentation to turn in a few days later that was worth like amillionpoints. I knew it’d be even worse now than when he’d been irritated about me staying in touch with him after I told him who he was. But I swear before Saturday, I’d completely forgotten I’d first met Rigo at your wedding. After the time I had with Lex that night and then the whole thing about me thinking he’d totally played me at the wedding and me being mad about it for so long. I didn’t even associate Rigo with you guys because I gave Izel his contact info, just a few days after. Since at the timehewas the one in the market for a web guy and I forgot all about it. So, almost a year later when I needed a web guy too and Izel raved about how good his was, I associated him more with my brother than you guys.”
She shook her head, taking another glorious bite of herquesabirria. Xochitl had actually begun to feel a little better and she was glad her appetite was finally back. Then Vannah said something that brought her happier thoughts to a screeching halt.
“I understand all of that.” Vannah waved her hand in front of her as she finished chewing her food then took a drink. “But he’s also hung up on something else and I called Gordo to confirm. My brothers are as inflexible as my dad, when it comes to certain things, so it doesn’t even surprise me that Gordo would be so adamant about this. Still.” She touched Xochitl’s arm. “For the record, let me just say I didn’t believe for a second and still don’t that you had anything to do with those stories about my family and Beast getting leaked. This guy is total scum from what my mom’s told me, so I do believe he’s lying. But Gordo said this guy hugged you tight at that bar then seemed to whisper in what he considered an inappropriate way in your ear. He said you two were having drinks because you were celebrating. Which Iknowwould be a huge no, no, for Byron. As it would for you and me both if the tables were turned.”
“Okay, first of all.” Xochitl put down her food feeling her appetite wane again suddenly. “My presentation was due in less than two hours at that point, and you know how important it is for me to always get full credit. Especially on an assignment that weighs that much on my overall class grade.” Vannah nodded even as she continued eating. Xochitl explained how desperate she’d been and why she’d agreed to meet him. “The drinks were already there when I arrived. Then when I finally submitted the damn thing, as happy as I was, the thought of having to tell your brother about it all, had me reaching for that damn drink to calm my nerves. Rigo took advantage of how happy I was about it finally being submitted and hugged me. So, when the second round came that I hadn’t even heard him order, and Gordo was there, Rigo called it a celebration.” She shook her head. “I know none of that excuses me lying, Vannah. Your brother’s hurt and I don’t blame him. Only reason why I haven’t cut Rigo out yet is because I haven’t doneshitthis week. This whole presentation that I took such a risk on? I haven’t even bothered to check my grade.” She felt her face scrunch again. “None of that matters anymore.”
Vannah stood up and leaned down to hug her again. “Lex is stubborn, okay? I don’t know who’s worse you or him. But you’re right, he’s hurt. So hurt, I’ve never seen or heard him like this. He’s talking nonsense, like throwing away his scholarship and just quitting school because he doesn’t want to risk seeing you with anyone else. It’s why he blocked you completely from everything, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“Oh, I noticed,” Xochitl said surprised about his considering quitting school. But then she’d been just as dramatic this past week too. “He hasn’t quit though, right?”
“No, when I talked to him the other day, I convinced him to come stay with us, at least until the end of the semester before he makes such a rash decision.” Vannah shook her head. “But he’s adamant that he’d sooner throw his scholarship away than stick around and have to see you with anyone else.”
