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“Have you?” I press.
He groans. “Once or twice.”
“Which is it?”
“What?”
“Once?” I fold my leg over the other, leaning in. “Or twice?”
“Twice. Does it matter?”
I shrug. “Not really.”
He gives me an exasperated look. “You are so confusing.”
“I think you mean intriguing.”
He laughs. It’s a warm, delicious sound that wraps around me. I lean over, running my fingers down his arm. “Are you going to see her again?”
“Hmm?” he asks, his eyes on my fingers.
“Jess?” I persist. “Will you be taking her out again?”
“No.” He reaches for my hand, tangling our fingers together. “I don’t think so.”
“Why’s that?”
“You know why.”
“Say it,” I whisper, a grin stretching over my face at the power I have over him.
“Because you’re back.”
I move so that I’m on his lap. His hands rest on my hips as he gazes up at me. I lean down and kiss him. A soft, deep kiss. His tongue is warm as he lets me invade his mouth. He groans as I press into him.
“Josie,” he mumbles.
“Yes?”
“Let’s not have this conversation again.”
This moment could have been copied and pasted from four years ago. His words from earlier swirl around my mind.Mum still cooks and does my washing.Still here. With the same people. Living where he always has. Working the place he always knew he would. My insides coil.
“It’s just kissing, Nick,” I say against his lips.
“And then it’s not just kissing,” he states, pushing me back. He stares up at me, his expression relaxed and friendly. Like always. Good Guy Nick.
Frustration bubbles inside me. So much time has passed, and yet nothing has changed. Even Nick can’t escape this trait. A stabbing sensation fills me as I realise the same could be said about me. I suddenly let go, dropping my hands.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, staring down at my hands. “I’m sorry, Nick. I never … I never realised how uncomfortable I would be making you feel.”
His gaze softens as he offers me a small smile. “It’s okay, Josie. You’re frustrated. I get it.”
I climb off him, feeling confused, frustrated—like he said—and nauseous.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he suggests.
The night is dark and still. Gravel crunches under our feet with each step. I dab my fingers over my forehead, removing the sweat that has gathered. Cicadas sing loudly from the trees, and it makes me smile. That’s a sound I haven’t heard for a while.
