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Dante ignored the sandwiches and fruit and filled his plate with some of the mac and cheese. “For what? Making you ill?”
“I’m not ill. I’m sure... Listen, it was just the heat, and the dehydration, that got to me.”
“Don’t lie to me, Noemi. I’m sure our topic of conversation had a role in your passing out.”
“I’m not sure you should flatter yourself so much.”
He paused with his fork midway to his mouth.
“While that was not the most pleasant conversation we’ve had, and I still have a lot of questions by the way, I’m not usually done in by words alone. I didn’t faint when I saw you take a man’s life. I mean, if that were going to cause me to faint, it would have happened that morning. But yes, adding that to the heat and the dehydration, didn’t help, I’m sure. But I’m okay. I’ll eat and drink and—”
“You’re rambling.”
“Yes, I’m rambling. I’m at a complete loss of what to say to you yet, I feel like I have to saysomething. I can’t just sit here and have lunch like I’m not on a private island with a man who kills people for a living.”
I put my fork down. “And yet, part of me feels like it doesn’t matter. Like that man, whoever he is, has been around forever, but I don’t knowthat man. I just know the man sitting in front of me. He’s hard, and demanding, and arrogant and overwhelming, but he’s also strong and giving. That man provides generously for his family. He’s the man who comforted me when my parents died. The man I’ve wanted for so long...”
My voice trailed off in a pathetic sigh. “I’m a little confused right now.”
I couldn’t look at him anymore. I stabbed at my macaroni, trying to get enough to stay on my fork so I could take a bite.
Normally, the silence was awkward, but I think we both welcomed it. Dante didn’t say anything after my tirade, and I didn’t poke the bear. It was an illusion - some peace and quiet in a tropical murderer’s paradise.
I was hungry and finished off most of the little cucumber finger sandwiches and almost all the sliced fruit. Dante stuck with the mac and cheese. We both drank the iced tea. We avoided conversation, and explanations, and interrogations in favor of silence.
By the time we were done, I did feel better. The shaky feeling had passed, and my thirst was quenched. The nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach had disappeared. Mostly.
“I should thank Michael for the food,” I ventured to say.
I sat back in my chair, focusing on the picturesque setting around me. Lush green plants, simple rattan buildings, tropical flowers. I hadn’t had time before to notice how beautiful Michael’s island was.
“He’s already gone,” Dante said, standing up.
“Where’d he go?”
“Away. On business.”
My mind went right to what it was I shouldn’t have known. I swallowed another mouthful of tea along with the words that sprang into my head.A business trip to kill someone?
“I need to leave, Noemi.”
“What? You’re not leaving me here. You can’t just drop me off an island.”
“Calm down. I’m not leaving the island.” He shook his head. “Why does this always have to be so difficult? I know I usually just disappear, but I wanted to let you know. I have some calls to make, some business to take care of. I’ll be in Michael’s office for a while.”
“That’s progress, I guess.” I tried to be understanding. At least, he had warned me that time and not just walked away, but it felt more like he expected me to sit back and enjoy a tropical vacation with a murderer. Surely, he understood how bizarre this was?
Dad stood up to leave, thinking, I assumed, that he had done his good deed and told me of his plans. Loneliness crept over me quickly. I stared past him to the break in the landscape where I could see the beach through the overgrowth of trees.
My shoulders stiffened as his hands clasped them from behind. Dante nuzzled the top of my head with his chin. No words were necessary. I’d been comforted by that gesture before. Briefly, at the airport five years ago. That night in the Calegari kitchen. When things were at their worst, this was Dante’s way of reaching out.
“Patience,bambina. We’ll talk more tonight,” he whispered against the top of my head.
My voice stuck in my throat at his sudden gentleness. He could have been cold and demanding. There were times when his dominance was exactly what I needed. But he knew! He knew that what I needed right then was his humanity. I didn’t need his take charge, wear my blindfold, autocratic behavior. I needed warmth and compassion. I don’t know who was more surprised that he could give me that - me or him.
