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His jaw tensed as he studied me. “A hug? That’s all? I must have disappointed you with mere words. But if you have your heart set on a hug...”
His arms stretched out and I moved into them. It was awkward and weird and the most bizarre hug I’d ever had. It felt forced. Unnatural.
As Dante’s arms closed around me, he whispered in my ear. “No expectations, baby girl. This would have been so much easier if you’d had no expectations. Don’t set yourself up for pain.”
His arms stayed around me as I leaned back and looked up at him.
“I did what you said,” I reminded him. “You said I could ask you for anything. I just want a real hug and to say... goodbye.”
My voice broke and Dante closed his eyes at the reminder of the words he’d said to me four years ago. I stretched my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me. I felt his body tremble just before his arms tightened around me. Movements stilled around us as I blocked out everything except the steel of his body against mine and the heat that radiated from him. Dante shifted on his feet and fitted me closer to him. A sigh or a moan. I don’t know which it was, but for the first time in four years, I felt like I was where I belonged.
How could he not feel it, too?
Regret washed over me like a tidal wave. I waited too long, and his arms felt too right. I wasted years, and he couldn’t begrudge me just a few minutes in the heaven of his arms.
After what seemed like an appropriate amount of time, but not nearly long enough, I dropped my arms from his neck, letting them fall to his chest.
Dante ran his cheek, rough and masculine, over my forehead, and I shivered. Another moan escaped my lips and he made the movement again. I clutched the lapels of his suit.
Electricity pulsed between us as our eyes met. I licked my lips, prepared to say goodbye one more time. Dante’s eyes followed my tongue before he leaned his head down to my ear.
“Get the fuck on that plane,” he growled.
***
IBLINKED AWAY THEmemories as I stared into the dark water that surrounded theMary Theresaas she sat anchored off the coast of Barbados. I thought airport Dante was distant and confusing, but the man I know now, the man I bargained with over my virginity, that man was an enigma. Hard and implacable one minute. Comforting and soothing the next. Was it crazy that I liked both Dantes?
Hard and implacable Dante made me feel secure. Nothing could alter his plans, not intruders or pirates or blown out windows. He handled each situation with deadly confidence. I didn’t know anyone else who could have remained so calm and in control under those circumstances. I could rely on Dante. He was brutally honest and unapologetically who he was. I knew I never had to worry about what was true, what was real. He’d be honest with me no matter what. I didn’t doubt anything he said.
Comforting Dante made me feel valued, which was something I never expected to feel from him. He could have just arranged a dinner or a hotel room and coldly taken what I offered, but he didn’t. Private planes. Yachts. Designer clothing. He went out of his way for me.
And the way he protected me... The way he stormed into the cabin and covered my body with his when the explosion shattered the cabin windows. I suppose he would have done that for anyone, but there hadn’t been “anyone” else. Not like me, according to Cecile who said he brought women to the Grand Tropican, but he had never gone through such lengths to take care of them the way he had me.
What did it all mean? Or did it mean anything at all? Dante spoiled me the last forty-eight hours and he certainly didn’t have to. Not to get what he wanted.
Butterflies rose in my stomach as I allowed myself to hope, even briefly, that he wanted me, that this was more than just a means to an end. I certainly didn’t need the Cinderella treatment from Dante to get me to sleep with him. I didn’t need to be bought.
“You’re frowning.”
Dante’s deep voice took me out of my musings and back onto the deck where we had just finished eating dinner.
I turned my head to face him as he approached.
“We’re anchored for the night. Captain Burrowes will take care of the window in the morning. You have nothing to worry about,” he explained, misreading my expression.
I looked at him sideways. “I want to believe you—”
“But you don’t,” he stated flatly as he put his hands in his pockets and leaned on the railing next to me.
I took a deep breath, knowing that my lack of faith irritated him.
“When we were there,” I nodded toward the island, “someone got into our hotel room and tried to murder us.” My voice trailed off as I nodded toward the open ocean. “When we went to sea, someone tried to blow a hole in your boat. I’m not sure how I feel right now, being sandwiched between the two.”
Dante didn’t say anything. His brow furrowed as he turned to look out over the water. I was getting better at looking at him and not turning away. I studied his dimly lit profile, watched his jaw tighten and brow furrow.
The ocean water lapped against the side of theMary Theresa. The air smelled of that salty, brininess one would expect. Under different circumstances, I would have melted at the ambience. But it had been a freaking unbelievably long day, and I hadn’t relaxed enough to allow myself to enjoy anything since the explosion.
By his own admission, Dante had killed three people: the two pirates and the man who had been in our bungalow. If I added in the two that he wasn’t aware I knew about, he had killed five people in one day. Who could do that and then stand so casually on a yacht as if he had no cares in the world?
I suppose it wasn’t a fair assumption. He had done all of it to protect me, to protect his yacht and his crew, and himself. The pirates had killed one of his men. Dante did what he had to do. A part of me understood that. Because I wanted to. Ihadto understand him. All Dante’s actions were in self-defense or the defense of others.
But if I believed that, why were my thoughts so unsettled? Why couldn’t I put all my faith in him? I missed the secure feeling that came with Dante’s presence. It was there, but felt just out of my reach, left somewhere on a beautiful island I never got to explore.
