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Chapter Thirteen
- Gabriel -
Ihad not slept sofucking hard in years. The bed was too small and too fluffy for my taste, but I slept as comfortably as if I were floating on a fucking cloud, soaring above the turmoil on Earth while I slept among the stars.
The room was cold, as Suzanne had told me it would be, but her warmth by my side replaced the chill with the tempting curve of her body. The room was still dark. Suzanne’s head rested on my shoulder; one of her legs draped over mine. The blanket was tangled between us. I tried not to wake her as I fumbled for my phone, having slept with it in the pocket of my leather jacket. I tried to keep my body still as I looked at my phone and saw that it was early, very early. Dawn was still a good hour away.
Rather than disturb Suzanne by putting the phone back in my pocket, I reached over to set it on the small nightstand by the bed. The movement didn’t wake her, but she shifted in her sleep, pushing her body closer to mine to close the gap my movement had created between us. Instinctively, I turned to the side, and she burrowed even closer against me. Locks of wavy hair fell over her face; locks I couldn’t resist touching. With the tip of my finger, I pushed her hair to the side, wishing I could see what I imagined would be the peaceful expression of sleep on her face.
I barely remembered the way she had looked last night - or rather, this morning. I had been tired out of my mind. Too exhausted to focus on anything beyond the fact that just being in her company had calmed me down. After a few hours of sleep, I could think straight. From what I recalled, she hadn’t answered my phone calls because she had gone out with her friend. When I hadn’t called, she made other plans.
That stung with a narcissistic, arrogant burn to my ego.
But I couldn’t fault her for ditching my ass. As much as I liked the idea that she was sitting around her apartment, alone, waiting for me to call, I also admired her for not letting my lack of attention control her.
If I expected anything different, I was wrong. But I couldn’t deny how I felt.
Had she been partying? Did she meet someone else? Someone who wouldn’t lie to her and keep her waiting all week? Someone who took a genuine interest in her and wasn’t planning to use her...
But that wasn’t completely right. Ihada genuine interest in her. That was why I’d driven so far in the early morning hours. To get to her. To have a chance for a moment like this. I pushed my ulterior motives aside.
Sleeping next to her, with the warmth of her body pressed against me as I fought the urge to devour her, to let my hands roam, to cup her breasts and cradle my cock between her...I sucked in a deep breath. She was bliss... as close to Heaven as a man like me would ever get.
I’ve slept with more women than I have the guts to admit - even to myself.
And none of them...not a one... had made me feel like one night wasn’t enough. If I had snatched a few z’s before my companion left, I awoke with the urge to leave. There were no early morning chats. Not even a wake-up blow job. No encouragement or hint that our encounter had been anything more than what it was - a convenience.
But Suzanne wasn’t convenient. She was the exact opposite - a thorn - and a rose - the flower and the pain - all part of the same beautiful creation.
When the fuck had I gotten so melodramatic?
I stared into the darkness and wondered what the fuck I was doing. I was there, and I shouldn’t be. I’d gone back on the promise I’d made myself - that I would leave her alone.
Butfuck,she felt so good lying next to me. So soft. So warm. Soreal. Bitterness coated my tongue as I fought it, fought the urge, and then lost myself to it.
One more weekend.
People broke up all the time. I could do this. I was strong enough. I could take what I wanted, all the parts of her that made me feel so. Damn. Good. And when it was time, we could...break up. Go our separate ways. I could manage my feelings.Block her out when I needed to, I lied to myself.
I was the starving man, staring at a holiday feast, telling myself I could resist having more than one bite when what I really wanted to do was devour the entire table.
I needed to compartmentalize. I had enough irons in the fire, enough for a man with half my tenacity and determination to worry about.
I knew I’d regret it the second I left the city, but for this weekend, I’d take advantage of the sweetness she offered...and do my penance later.
Besides, I’d made a promise. Promises were nothing more than traps, but this one I was dying to keep.
I couldn’t wait to taste her...but I would. The bare crack of light glinting in from the living area said it still wasn’t time to get up. If I woke her now, however provoking the experience was, she would have had barely four hours of sleep.
I would wait, though my body, particularly my cock, which was reminded that he’d never waited this long for anyone...ever...were wide awake. Cautiously, I shifted my shoulder, letting Suzanne’s head fall onto the pillow. She murmured something unintelligible, then wrapped her arms around the pillow and remained asleep.
I tried to be quiet, getting a glass of water from the kitchen tap before checking the time once again. Was The Coffee Spot open yet? I could use a cup of coffee. Did I intrude on Suzanne’s privacy and use the small coffee maker on the counter so there’d be a pot of hot coffee ready for her when she woke up? I had a duffle bag I kept in my car because...well, you never knew when you were going to need a change of clothes. Being a mafia don can be a messy business. Did I intrude even further on her privacy and use her shower? I couldn’t spend today in the clothes I’d worn all day yesterday, then slept in - even if it was only for a few hours.
I scratched the scruffiness of my goatee.
Fuck. I was a mess. I needed better clothes than gray sweatpants and a black tee shirt. I needed a shave. What did I have in that duffle bag? A toothbrush? A razor?
It’d been a while since I’d used its contents. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I had replaced the supplies from the last time. Was there even a pair of underwear in it? First, I had to get to it. The front door of Suzanne’s building had a keyed entry. If I left, I wouldn’t be able to get back in. Not this early and not legally, at least. She’d know. She’d question how I was able to come and go.
