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I heave a heavy sigh. Inside, I am at war with myself. Inner Sex Goddess pants at his pitiful eyes, clearly sorry and truly wanting me to stay. Fangirl salivates at the thought of hearingClimaxperform in a private concert. Inner Foodie can’t wait to taste the culinary delights I can smell cooking in woodsmoke. Miss Insecure seems to be the only one with an intelligent, rational-thinking brain. And she tells me to get in my car and forget this weekend ever happened.
“Connor, hey man. You’ve got guests. They’re all wanting a drink with the birthday boy,” we hear Ox calling from behind Connor. He’s walking toward him with two beers in his hand and a smile stretched over his lips. He thrusts one bottle to Connor and they clink their drinks together.
“I’ll be there in a minute. I’m talking to Lainey right now.” His voice is more of a bark than words. He is clearly annoyed at being interrupted.
“Well, I tell you what. You go greet your guests, and I’ll talk to Lainey. How about that?” Ox gives him a wink.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, man.” Connor’s annoyance level just went up about fifty notches. I feel the air between them prickle with testosterone.
“It’s a great idea. Trust me. Now, off you go.” Ox turns Connor around and gives him a swift kick in his backside in the direction of the front door. I actually hear Connor growl at him as he takes a swig of his beer, rakes his hands through his hair and stalks off in the direction of the foyer. He is going the long way back to the party. Probably to cool off before greeting the people who’ve arrived. They must be coming in by boat along the river, too, because I only see a few cars park while we are standing out front. But I can hear the laughter of a lot more people coming from the back deck.
“Lainey, I want to apologize for my wife. She was way out of line earlier. It’s not an excuse, but Connor got really hurt by a woman several years back. He was a total mess. He’s just started getting himself back together and she feels like she needs to protect him.”
“She’s not his mother, Ox. And I haven’t done anything wrong.” I protest. I actually cross my arms over my chest. Love for a sibling is fine. But it doesn’t excuse overstepping. Ox was right about that.
“Tori and Connor’s parents died when Connor was just thirteen years old. Tori and I are a lot older than him. We took him in. Ginger was already almost eight, I think. Those two practically grew up together. And, yeah, Tori isn’t his mom, but we raised him. So she does tend to go full-on Momma-Bear on people she feels threaten her young cub.” He gives me a shrug and a half smile. “We’re working on it.”
I didn’t know that about Connor. No wonder he seems so close to his family. “I promise she won’t say another inappropriate word.”
“Ox, I appreciate what you’ve said. Thank you for telling me. But I barely know Connor and I’m not sure I really want to get into all this with him right now.”
“He likes you,” Ox says flatly, the half-smile disappearing from his face. “The night you passed out at the bar, he told me everything. He said he liked you from the minute you sat down. And he was as thankful as he could be that Marie’s kid got lice, and she had to go pick him up early from school. That’s why he was behind the bar that day. Fate totally brought you two together. And some poor kid had to get head lice to do it. The least you can do is stay a couple of hours at his party. I think it would really mean a lot to him.”
“He said he liked me?” Fangirl and Sex Goddess hold hands and dance in a circle together.
“Yeah, he did. He said, and I’m quoting here, ‘Ox, I met the most beautiful woman tonight.’ Then he went on and on and on about your job interview and the whiskey and how funny you are. You make him laugh. I haven’t heard Connor laugh in a really long time, hon. A really damn long time.”
Ox takes another sip of his beer and my heart flutters a little at his words. Connor isn’t the talkative type. I acted like a total idiot the first night we met and he thought I was, what? I was endearing? He likes me and he wants me to be here. And he was plenty pissed at his sister for giving me a hard time. I use these thoughts to soothe Miss Insecure, who’s packed away her thumb-sucking blanket for the moment.
“Tori called and gave him the third degree after you went home last night. He wouldn’t tell her shit. When she found out later that I knew about you, she got a bit nuts. But this ain’t about Tori. It’s about you and Connor. My wife, I can handle. So … you gonna stay, or what?”
“OK. I’ll stay.” I concede with a long puff of breath I let out in a rush.
“Awesome. Now, I’m going to buy you a drink.” He drapes his arm around me and we walk into the party together. Fangirl just high-fived my Inner Sex Goddess.
“It’s an open bar, Ox.” I truly feel better after our talk. Ox’s tone of voice and his words of encouragement have me wanting to learn more about Connor Rose.
“Exactly.”
* * *
Climaxhas still got it. Granted, most of the band members are in their mid-fifties now, but age doesn’t matter. Their voices, their instrumentals and the eerie harmonies they were known for still ring out like they always have. There’s a lot less running and sliding across the stage on their knees, of course, but the sound … the sound is all there. My Inner Fangirl just lit her lighter and holds it high for the world to see. I am captivated. #climaxrocks
Music has always had that effect on me. It transports me. It frees me. This weekend, I realize how much I’ve missed it. How much I really do need it in my life. It was so much more than a paycheck for me. It was a passion. I knew it then. But I let the people around me influence me. Swaying to a ballad, I can’t help but wonder if it’s too late to go back to it. I wonder if my cello would treat me like a jilted lover — angry and resentful, or if it would embrace me as the prodigal child come home.
“I bet this is your favorite song of theirs, isn’t it?” Connor’s mouth is against my ear so I can hear him over the din of the music. I shake my head.
“Youngest Loveris,” I confess, talking directly into his ear so he can hear me.
Connor’s eyebrows lift and his eyes widen in something more akin to delight than surprise. “You know what that song’s about, don’t you?” I can’t hear him, but his lips are easy enough to read.
I do. It’s not a ballad, but it has less of the rock vibeClimaxusually uses to push the beat of their music. An older man makes love to a young girl, legal of course, but very young. He takes her virginity with compassion and teaches her to love him and love sex. The song is sensual, very descriptive and quite erotic. I always wanted it to be like that with me someday. It wasn’t, of course.
“Wow! You keep surprising me, Lainey Bird,” Connor says into my ear. “Dance with me.”
He commands me again. Just like his lunch invitation, he’s not requesting but directing. Before I can answer, he has me in his arms and spins me around to the band’s cover of a popular new love song. They’re giving it their trademark sound, and it’s so much better than the original recording.
I like Connor’s arms around me. He’s strong and hard, but there’s a softness inside of him that I can tell he keeps safely hidden behind all the strength. Ox said he’d been hurt badly by a woman a long time ago. It must have been pretty bad to have forced him to keep such a protective fortress around himself now.
