AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“He told me what happened to him … with Shana, I mean,” I confess. I want her to know what he’s revealed to me. I hope she can help me understand him more fully.
The smile fades from Georgia’s face. She lifts an eyebrow. “Did he?”
I nod. “He said he was really messed up for a long time. Morris said he lived here with you for a while?”
“He stayed with us a while,” Georgia confirms. “Connor wasn’t really as messed up as he was lost. Trust me I know. Really, he just needed time to process everything that had happened to him. He needed to come to grips with the fact that Shana had her own problems. He could never have helped her — no matter how good of a husband he was to her. And, if you ask me, he was a good husband to her. Much better than many I see come through my practice. Well, used to see. I’m retired now.”
“He didn’t want to go home?” I ask.
“Connor was battling more than just the loss of his wife, Lainey.” Georgia hesitates.
“He told me about Afghanistan, too,” I divulge, feeling a heavy sadness dump into my heart.
“You two have shared a lot,” Georgia reaches out and taps my fingers with hers. “Connor’s sister and Ox are good people, but they only want to baby him. Connor doesn’t need to be babied.”
“I can understand that,” I admit. “He needs to feel useful, strong. I think he needs to feel like he can be there for someone else. Is that right?”
“Exactly right, dear,” Georgia says. “You seem to understand him quite well. His struggles with PTSD will linger with him for the rest of his life. It’s something he has to take day by day. That’s what he learned here with us. At least, it’s what I hoped he learned.”
“It was nice of you to let him stay here,” I acknowledge.
“Nonsense. That man worked himself to death, practically running this farm on his own once he got the hang of it. Managed the seasonal help we hire during harvest time. He was useful and felt needed, which he was. I taught him a few of my favorite recipes, too. Lord, that man can eat!” We both laugh at that, knowing it’s no exaggeration. “He bragged on my cooking, told me I should open a restaurant. I told him to take his inheritance and open his own restaurant. He was welcome to my recipes.”
“The tomato pie is yours, isn’t it?” I inquire.
“You’ve had the tomato pie? Yes, only he uses basil instead of thyme. Was it good?”
“Very. They’re serving it at theDay Old Bagel.”
Georgia nods. “I’m glad. Does he still work himself to death?”
“Yes. He plays hard, too, though. Most nights I feel like I’m passing out, not falling asleep. I’m so tired. I can’t keep up with his energy.” I blush slightly, imagining what she must think when I say that.
“There are rules, Lainey. I hope Connor has explained that to you by now. You should always feel comfortable saying what you’re feeling and asking for what you need. If you want a break, ask for it.”
“Oh, he did. I didn’t mean about sex,” I divulge. I can’t believe I’m talking about this. “Sex with Connor is incredible. He’s very passionate and he cares for me. He always takes time to be sure I enjoy everything. He’s considerate, but not so gentlemanly that he doesn’t get to enjoy himself, too, if you understand.”
Georgia laughs and stands up to pour the last of the coffee from the carafe into a nearby mug. She dumps a puddle of cream into it and then sits down again, still chuckling to herself.
“I didn’t mean in bed, dear, although it’s good to know you two are enjoying a healthy sexual relationship. I mean with you two being in love with one another. The rules are for life and love, not just for sex.”
“Oh,” I flush, a bright crimson spreads over my face. “Sorry. Overshare. I’m working on that. But we’re not in love.”
“Nonsense. I know love when I see it and you two are most definitely in love with one another. Connor is for certain. Hasn’t he told you already?”
“What? No. I mean … we don’t really discuss our … that is, we don’t really talk about how we’re feeling.” I say those words and then quickly realize it’s not true. We’re constantly sharing our emotions through the stories of our past, the music we play, small touches of affection and all the little quirky nuances that have come to make up the routine of our travels.
“Connor has invited you on this journey. He cares for you. You two enjoy one another sexually. I see the way he looks at you. He can’t look at you and not smile. He’s very much in love with you, Lainey.”
I grin when Georgia mentions his smile. “All of this time, I thought that little smile just meant he was amused by me.”
“So, you’ve noticed it, too. You have your own little telltale signs, you know. The way you look at him, and always light up when he touches you. It’s more than being new lovers. You’re in love with him too, aren’t you?”
In love? With Connor? Georgia’s words seem obvious and yet at the same time, I’m stunned to hear them. I care for Connor, and I love being with him. I feel safe with him and I’ve told him more of my past life than I’ve shared with anyone except Willow. We understand one another. He totally puts up with my need to talk incessantly, and even uses it to help me cope with situations that make me feel nervous or uncomfortable. And the sex is amazing! But when we’re together, it’s more than just a physical thing. I feel like he’s really and truly loving me and I’m loving him.
Holy crap! I’m totally in love with Connor Rose. My eyes widen and my head suddenly feels dizzy. How could I have been so oblivious?
Georgia smiles warmly and gives that little light giggle that makes her so endearing. “You’re good for one another,” she says. “Something tells me that all the broken pieces of your heart fit exactly into the shattered places left behind by his own tragedy. And that’s really what we’re looking for in love, isn’t it? It isn’t about fixing someone’s broken heart. It’s about filling in the cracks with your own love. The love that’s left over from pain and loss.”
