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“Plastic pussy? You surprise me, Lainey Bird.”
“Don’t call me that. If that’s the kind of woman you’re after, then by all means, go after it. I’m sure you can find her in her thong somewhere around the hotel playing nice with all the Hugh Hefner look-alikes.”
Connor is nearly doubled over with laughter now. The waiter returns with his water and hands him a napkin to wipe the tears of laughter from his eyes. Honestly, I want to punch this man right now. Anger has replaced my jealousy and hurt feelings. How can he just sit there and laugh at my pain? Bastard!
“I’m not going to sit here and be the brunt of your joke. I’m going to pack. I’m going home, Connor. Blow Job Barbie can take my place.”
I swing my legs over the side of the lounger and make for the lobby of the hotel. I’ve got to somehow navigate the lobby to get to the bank of elevators that will take me to the sixth floor and our room. And I have to do it with tears clouding my eyes, and my chest heaving, working to keep sobs quiet so the midday crowds won’t notice. Before I am halfway through, I feel Connor’s arms around me, dragging me into an oversized chair.
“Let me go,” I fume.
“Lainey, stop.” His voice is firm, but gentle.
The tears begin to well again, held back only by my earlier outrage. Captured by his arms, held close to his body, smelling the scent of his body wash — I’m helpless. I am weak and I know it.
“Baby, stop. Listen to me.” Connor’s arms wrap around me and he kisses the top of my head. Oh, please, don’t do this. I can’t manage to make myself leave this, and I need to. I need to go!
I shake my head from side to side. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want the excuses and the reasoning. I don’t want to believe another string of lies only to be made a fool of again and again while I watch my heart be torn to shreds by the jaws of the lion.
Connor’s hands hold me tighter and begin to stroke me softly. “Sweetheart, you’ve got to talk to me. What’s going on? You disappeared last night. I spent hours looking for you. Then today you’re mad as hell at me and I have no idea what I’ve done wrong.”
“You can sell that crop of lies to someone else, Tarzan. I told Sam where I was going. I didn’t feel good. The vodka made me sick. I came upstairs.” I push back from his chest and swipe violently at my cheeks.
“Baby, you got sick? I didn’t know. Sam left the party early. Are you OK? You shouldn’t have been alone. You should have told me you needed to leave.”
“Well, I would have loved to have you come with me, but Silicone Sally had her tongue down your throat. So …”
“Lainey, it wasn’t like that. What is all this really about? You’re this upset because some groupie came on to me? Talk to me. Those are the rules, Lainey. This doesn’t work if you don’t talk to me.”
“This?” My tone is louder than I want it to be. I pause a moment and glance around to discover that no one in the lobby is paying the slightest bit of attention to me. Of course, they’re not. I’m not worth anyone’s concern. I lower my voice. “What exactly is this? What am I to you, Connor? Am I just some summer fling? Is that all you want from me?”
“Lainey,” his voice has taken a sharp edge I’m not accustomed to. It’s unnerving and causes Miss Insecurity to call a halt to my verbal assault. “Listen to me. What do you feel, right now? At this moment. Don’t worry about how I’ll react. Just say it. Tell me.”
His voice is urgent and demanding. I can’t force myself to ignore his orders.
“I’m jealous,” I blurt out. New tears fall hotly and quickly down my cheeks. “And I’m angry because I feel foolish and … used, and I don’t know … cheated somehow. Betrayed. I thought we were … you know … a thing, and then I saw you kiss her, and I just … I can’t compete with that, Connor.”
I let my head fall against his shoulder and let out a long breath, trying to reign in the sobs that threaten to pour out of me. His lips press against my forehead and his voice shushes me softly.
“I’m sorry, Lainey. Please, don’t cry. I’m taking you upstairs. C’mon.” I let him lead me onto an elevator that I’m thankful is empty, and then to our room on the sixth floor. He sits on the bed, leaning against the headboard, and pulls me close to him. Just like he does every night.
“Nothing happened with her, Raven.” Connor’s fingers stroke my arm softly. “Girls like her and Shana, they’re all the same. They don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves. She knew I was with you — hell, everyone did. I promise you, baby, I’ve made it very clear I am not traveling down that road again. Not ever. Evan ended up taking her upstairs around 2 a.m.”
My tears slow and dry. “You … you didn’t sleep with her?”
“No, Lainey Bird. No. The only woman I wanted last night disappeared on me. One minute you’re dancing with Sam and laughing and the next … you’re gone. I got frantic when I couldn’t find you. I went looking for Sam, but Ziggy told me he’d gone upstairs with his wife an hour before. I was ready to go door-to-door in this fucking hotel when I came up here a little before 4 a.m. and saw you sleeping. God, baby. I was so damned relieved. You can’t know how worried I was. Sam and his guys are OK, but some of the folks that come to these things … they get fucked up ideas about what women want when they’re stoned.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you, I …”
“You had too much to drink? You got sick?” He interrupts, obviously more concerned over me than an apology.
I hold up four fingers, and Connor lets out a low-pitched whistle between his teeth. “Damn, baby. You can’t handle that much. What were you thinking? You should have come to get me.”
“I would have except …”
“Except Becca?”
“Yes.”
