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Why was he so fucking warm?
“Not a hugger, huh?” His amused laugh vibrated against my chest. That weird fucking feeling was back again, tugging at me.
“Not really.” How could I explain that it had been a long, long time since anyone had hugged me properly? Celebratory hugs during football matches didn’t count, and I tried to avoid anything couple-y like cuddling or holding hands with anyone I slept with.
He dropped his arms, immediately releasing me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I was just teasing.”
“It’s okay.”
Biting his lip, he lowered his gaze. “Yeah, but I—”
“Noah. Don’t worry about it,” I replied absentmindedly, my gaze caught on his mouth, his bottom lip shiny from where he’d been tugging it between his teeth. Why did he have to chew on it like that? Didn’t he realise how distracting it was?
Taking a seat again, I moved on to safer subjects. He didn’t need to know how I was too fucked up to hug him without having an internal crisis, and he definitely didn’t need to notice me staring at his mouth like some kind of weirdo. “Your dad got a job?”
His face brightened, and he threw himself down next to me. “Yeah. It’s a real weight off my mind.”
As Preston returned to the room with Travis and Damon in tow, carrying a pack of beers, Noah told us about his dad’s redundancy and how he’d been dealing with the burden of worrying about his family and struggling with his own subsequent money issues. The words tripped over themselves, the relief evident in his voice as he confided in us.
All the while, the guilt weighed on me, heavier and heavier. Why had I acted like such an asshole towards him? Why hadn’t I stopped to consider that maybe he had a reason for his actions? Yeah, he’d been an asshole to me too, but that didn’t excuse my behaviour.
Later, when everyone was talking amongst themselves, I leaned over to him. We’d somehow ended up sitting fairly close together on the sofa, so it was easy enough to lean in and speak without being overheard. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have asked for the money.”
His reply was so soft that I strained to hear him. “I know.” He pressed his thigh against mine, just the lightest touch, but my breath stuttered at the contact.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him smile, and something small and warm unfurled inside me.
