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I knew exactly how Elliot felt now, and it meant that I had to end this.
And I would. I told myself it would be easier now, knowing that Liam would be going out with Ander tonight, after he’d spoken with me.
I was getting good at lying to myself.
* * *
“Hi.”
Warm, strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind, and I smiled, leaning back into Liam.
“Hi.”
Then my brain caught up with me, and I twisted around so fast, I almost got whiplash. I pushed back from him, meeting his wide eyes. “I heard you and Ander earlier when I went to meet Elliot.”
Fuck. I hadn’t even decided if I was going to say anything about it, let alone just blurt it out the second I saw him.
His eyes widened even further, his mouth falling open. Then he dropped his gaze to the floor, shifting back from me. He bit down on his lip, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I…shit, Noah. You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“Yeah, I got that part.” Folding my arms across my chest, I glared at him, because the alternative was crying, and there was no fucking way that was happening until I got some answers.
“It wasn’t…I didn’t mean it like that.” He finally looked at me, peeking from beneath his lashes, still worrying his lip with his teeth. “Noah.Please.”
Inhaling deeply in an attempt to keep my composure, I waited, and he took a step closer, then another, until he was right up against me. He reached up a shaking hand to cup my jaw and leaned in, his soft huff of breath skating across my skin.
My body trembled under his touch, but I stopped myself from reaching out to him, curling my fingers around the edges of the counter behind me.
He opened his mouth to speak, or maybe to kiss me, but he never got a chance. The kitchen door burst open, slamming against the already dented wall, and Travis and Preston appeared in the doorway. Liam jumped back from me as if he’d been burnt, and I collapsed back against the counter.
A sly grin appeared on Travis’ face. “What’s going on here? Making the moves on Noah, huh, Liam?”
If my eyes hadn’t gone straight back to Liam, I would’ve missed the sheer panic in his gaze that he tried to mask. He managed, more or less…but I could read him much more easily now, and he looked totally lost and scared and so, so miserable.
That look sealed it for me.
I never, ever wanted to see that look on his face again. I liked…no, I loved him enough to take away his pain. Or I’d try my fucking hardest, at least.
Ilovedhim?
Fuck. I did. I loved him.
And now, I had to let him go.
It hurtso much.
“Are you joking?” I straightened up, twisting my mouth into what I hoped passed for an amused grin. “Liam? You’ve got your wires crossed there, mate. Right, Liam?”
“Yeah,” he croaked out. “Are you blind?”
The abject misery in his eyes was tearing me apart, and I took a step forward, then another, and another, until I was between him and Travis and Preston. Gathering the remainder of my strength, I glared at them both. “Leave him alone. It’s not funny, alright?”
Travis and Preston exchanged identical startled glances, and then Travis gave a nod, putting his hands up. “Okay. Sorry. I was only joking. We’ll leave you to it.”
They disappeared out of the kitchen, and I waited until I heard the pointed bang of the lounge door closing before I turned back to Liam.
“You don’t have to say anything. But this…thing—” I choked on the word. “—between us needs to stop. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t be your friend with benefits, or your fuck buddy, or whatever you want to call it. I’m sorry.”
“Noah.” His eyes glistened. “I can’t—”
“It’s okay. I understand. I wish more than anything that I could deal with us being a secret. I’d never, ever force you into anything you weren’t ready for.” The stupid fucking tears were coming, despite my attempts, and I blinked rapidly to keep them at bay. I had to get through this as quickly as I could. As I choked out the rest of the words, the pain in my chest increased, and I was barely able to get them out. “We need to end this before it ends up hurting us both even more than it already has.”
A tear caught on his lashes, and he sucked in a shaky breath. “Please.Pleasedon’t leave me.”
Fuck. My heart hurt so much. It took everything in me to force out a reply, my voice cracking as the tears came. “I have to, Liam. We can’t…we can’t do this anymore.”
His whispered reply finished us both.
“You’re right. Okay. It’s over.”
