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“And he doesn’t suspect you’ve turned?”
“Are you kidding? If he did, he’d do the same thing he did to my brother.” She took a deep breath in through her nose. Unshed tears brimmed in her eyes. “My father got word back to Alonso that my brother was talking. Three days later, Hector was stabbed to death out in the yard.”
“I’m sorry.” I read about her brother’s death. I didn’t know it came at the hand of their own father.
She peeked at the paper. “Doesn’t say that in the file, does it?”
“No.”
“You said you needed to trust me.” She gave a weak, guarded smile. “That’s the truth. My father still thinks I’m devoted to him andLos Tiburónes. I play the part of the dutiful daughter and girlfriend well. I told my dad I took out Cisco because he was a snitch. He told me to get in contact with Ramona Perez. She used to be a runner for him back in the day. When she got arrested, she did her time. But she’s out now, and he sent word to her. How my father gets all of his intel is beyond me. But luckily, it worked out perfectly. I just have to believe that this all happened for a reason. I have to have faith. It’s all I have to go on anymore.”
“I suppose we’re both going on that.”
The nod of her head was slight, her sigh quiet. “The other thing it doesn’t say in my file is what happened to Oscar Reyes.”
She was right. There was nothing in her file that mentioned that name. “Who is he?”
“He was ahalconesfor Los Tiburónes. More than that, he was the love of my life.Amor de mi vida,” she repeated in Spanish. Her words were wistful, sounding as if she was speaking directly to Oscar. “Anyway”— her eyes were blurry as she fought back the sting of tears and stiffened her spine—“our relationship was secret. No one knew. I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was his. We were going to make a run for it.” She bit her quivering lip. “But Alonso ordered a hit. Thought Oscar was stealing from him. Alonso was wrong. It was Oscar’s partner. He was eventually killed too. But it was too late.”
“No baby is mentioned in your file.”
“There wouldn’t be. There is no baby.” One single tear slipped down each cheek. “Alonso is . . . One night, he was drunk and high. I said the wrong thing. He beat me, kicked me, raped me after. I started bleeding the next morning. And that was that. That’s when I decided to get payback.” She pressed her quivering lips together in a resolve to remain strong. “When he took my baby from me, I was done. Maybe I could have gone on without Oscar, but the baby? Fucking bastard. He’s lucky I didn’t cut off his balls. Or kill him.” She gave a spiteful laugh. “Death would be too easy though. I want him to have everything taken away from him. Even if he never knows it was at my hand, I want to have the satisfaction of being the one who got it all taken away.”
The rest of our conversation went pretty much the same way. Me questioning things and her answering. The details of how we would get to Alonso López’s andLos Tiburóneswere hammered out. Guadalupe would pick Ramona Perez up from the airport in two days. The arrest debacle was crafted by Guadalupe. I had to give it to her. She was not messing around when she said she meant to take them all down.
“Tell me again what your setup entails.”
“I pick her up at the airport. Detective Mitchell’s men will be at the designated spot. I will run the stop sign, speed, do whatever I have to do to get pulled over. I’ll cop an attitude with the officer. He’ll end up searching the car and find the dope I’ve planted. When he runs our names, he will see her record, and we will both be taken to the precinct. She’ll be processed. I’ll be released. And that’s when you’ll assume her identity. We’ll go to the club, do a little meet and greet, and they’ll report back to Alonso. Before he accepts, he’ll want to meet you. It might require you to come to San Rafael. But I’ll try to convince him to come here.”
Easy wasn’t the best word for this. It seemed easy enough. But I knew from experience when things seemed too easy and hour zero was upon us, inevitably something would happen, and it would be either sink or swim. I had to be ready. I had to be more than ready. I had to be Ramona Perez in every way, shape, and form.
* * *
The most difficult challenges in going undercover aren’t the professional ones, they’re the personal ones. Lines get blurred, lives are jeopardized, feelings are not allowed. Remembering there is a line between who you need to be and who you really are is challenging because that line can start to unravel. Fast. And when that happens, when that line begins to blur, it affects everyone around you—especially those whom you care about the most.
I couldn’t believe how bad my hands were shaking. I rang the doorbell and waited for what seemed like an eternity. I took a chance coming to Tyler’s unannounced.
“H-hi,” I stammered, lifting my chin to meet his eyes when the door opened.
Tyler’s eyes were cold and glacial as he stared down at me. Several hours had passed since he left my apartment, but it looked like he’d been sleep-deprived for days. I imagined I looked as haggard as he did.
“Hi.”
We remained silent as we stood inches from each other, our mouths slightly parted, sharing the same breath.
“Can I come in?” I felt like a child asking for another cookie instead of the welcome guest I had been before.
He said nothing. Just pushed the door wider so I could enter.
I dropped my bag to the floor, not knowing how long he would let me stay. When I turned around to utter my apology, I collided into Tyler’s solid chest, and the words were knocked out of me. Along with my breath. I didn’t hesitate to wrap myself around him, taking deep inhales of fresh linen and his cologne.
“I’m sorry, Tyler,” I said after several seconds, holding onto him, fear of letting go taking over me. If I did, I felt like he might sink away into oblivion, and I’d never see him again.
“I know.”
“I want you. All of you. I want more, Tyler, I do.” I let my breath out slowly. “I’m scared.”
“I know, Siren.” His hand came to my head, rhythmically stroking my hair. “I know.”
