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“Because he thinks you did it!”
My fists tighten in my lap. “He already hated me before the accident. You know that.”
Her eyes narrow on me. “No. He was disappointed. You two clashed your whole life becauseyou’rethesame person, Tristan. You’re both so stubborn and have some twisted hero complex where it’s your job to govern everyone else for their own good. He was pissed because he put this whole future together for you and you threw it away. That’s why he was mad, but he neverhatedyou. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have bailed you out or helped you get that plea deal.”
“The plea was about saving face, and you know it. He didn’t want more bad press with a trial.”
“No.He wanted to do the best he could for you.”
“No. He wanted to do the best he could for all ofyou! You want proof? How about the mail?”
I hate that emotion has corrupted my voice, but it’s too much. Why do I have to keep fighting the same battles over and over again? If they’re really on my side, why can’t they let me go down in peace?
“What mail?” she snaps.
“Earlier this week he stopped by with your mail but he got me instead. Kim, he could have murdered me he was so furious to find me here. He never once visited while I was locked up. He formally disowned me. It’s like he wants to pretend I never existed!”
“Because he feels guilty!”
My words stall on my tongue. “What?”
She blows out a breath. “It’s so obvious, Tristan. Mom sees it too. He’s doubling down. He feels so guilty for everything, the way he treated you after you said no to college, the way he practically abandoned you after your arrest… He was hurt, but like that stubborn alpha male he pretends to be, he couldn’t admit it. He couldn’t say he was sorry or tell you he loved you. And he sure as hell couldn’t watch you suffering, so it was easier to erase you from his life. Why do you think he’s still supporting me even though he’s not happy about my life choices either? He knows he messed up and is trying to absolve himself for what happened to you! He deposits a thousand dollars in my account every month and paid Isabel’s tuition like you wanted. It’s blood money, Tristan. Some sick restitution for failingyou.”
Iz gasps, and I cover my face.
Kim is doing it too. Rewriting history. Telling the fairytale she wants to believe.
“What do you mean he paid my tuition? I’m on a scholarship,” Isabel says.
“No,” Kim says. “You’re not. I’m sorry, Isabel, but Dad is the one behind that fake scholarship. Tristan begged him to use any funds set aside for him on you when he went away. It’s his college fund that’s paying yours.”
“What?” I hear the shock in her voice, but I can’t look at her. It’s too much, too fast barreling in at once.
“Is that what he was referring to that day he was here?” she asks. “The threat aboutmaking adjustments? Answer me!” she hisses when I don’t respond.
I still can’t look at her, but I force a nod.
“Fuck, Tristan! How…? We weren’t even together! Why would you do that?!”
“You know why,” I whisper.
She lowers herself beside me, but instead of resentment I see pain. She threads her arms around mine, and I sense Kim’s shock when Iz kisses my shoulder. Whatever. I’m in no state to deal with my sister’s disapproval right now. I don’t know how to handle what’s already on the table.
“If all of that is true, I agree with Kim,” Isabel says. “You need to tell your father the truth.”
Hurt, I level my stare on her. “How can you say that? You were there. You saw what happened when he stopped by.”
She nods. “Yeah. It was awful. It also makes complete sense when you look at it the way Kim said. The longer this went on and the worse it got for you, the harder it would be for him to be honest with himself and admit to his mistakes.”
“No! That doesn’t make sense.”
“It makes perfect sense,” she says, constricting her arms around mine. “You may not want to recognize it, but you’re just like him, Tristan. Just as stubborn and self-righteous. You always know what’s best, right? You make the decisions not just for yourself but for everyone around you. It’s your way or no way. You can’t tolerate being wrong. You’d rather dig a hundred new graves for yourself than admit you need help or messed up.”
I glare at her and pull away, but she doesn’t back down.
“Youdecided you weren’t good enough for me and what myfuture should be.Youdecided Kim couldn’t handle the consequences of her actions, so you should take them upon yourself. And now you’re deciding that you’re not worthy of letting us help you, that you don’t deserve a future or any good thing in your life. I have news for you, Tristan Haverford.Youare not God, and you have no right to make decisions for the rest of us.”
I feel like I’ve been hit with a club. My blood is boiling when she shocks me by taking my hands. But her face softens with so much love and compassion, I can’t pull away.
“Did it ever occur to you people might notfight for you because you won’t let them?”
I can’t speak as she leans in and tightens her arms around me.
“You’ve suffered enough,” she whispers. “Let us saveyoufor once.”
