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“So that’s why you went out with him?” I asked. “To rub it in my face?”
“It wasn’t that conniving. It bothered Dad and it annoyed you, so it was kind of fun. Manning just felt like some rare thing I could have and you couldn’t.” She looked longingly at the pack of smokes bobbing in the pool. “I mean, I didn’t plan it like that. When I say it now, it sounds calculated but it just happened. I never meant for things to go so far, you know. Manning was too old for me and not that much fun. He was so serious all the time.”
Nobody understood that better than me. “All the time,” I agreed.
Her shoulders rose with a deep inhale. “But it turned out, that was what I needed. Dad had given up on me early. Manning didn’t. He talked to me, not at me. He listened and cared about what I was thinking. At camp, he treated me so well, I let myself believe he was falling for me, too. Then that last night at campfire, when you snuck off with him—”
“You did?” Corbin pursed his lips at me and sat back. “Fuck.”
I did my best to look contrite, knowing Corbin wouldn’t like hearing something so out of character for me.
“It was like . . .” Tiffany continued. “Like I was starting to really like him and once again, you were getting everything.”
“So you married him,” I said.
“It’s probably easier for you to believe I didn’t love him,” she said quietly, “but I did. He was the only person who saw me, who treated me with any respect, even in my own family.”
“That’s not true,” I said. “I looked up to you, Tiffany. I tried to step in with Dad when I could. I feel like I lost a sister the day of your wedding.”
Crickets filled the next few moments of silence. Even the party inside seemed to quiet as Tiffany and I avoided each other’s gaze. “Then I guess that means I lost a sister, too,” she said.
Having Corbin there was less comforting than it normally would’ve been—and a whole lot embarrassing. When it came to Manning, he and I never went there, but I guess now he knew enough.
Finally, Tiffany got up. “I should get home. I have to work in the morning and it’s a long drive back.”
“You can stay here,” I offered.
“It’s fine. Congrats again on all this stuff.” She sounded tired. “I’ll be watching the show. It’s actually really good.”
There wasn’t anything I could say to take back what I’d done. I didn’t exactly want to jump to forgiveness, either. Tiffany had made mistakes, too. If she’d reacted maturely to anything, ever, we wouldn’t be in this situation. That didn’t mean I wanted her out of my life, though. She’d intentionally hurt me, but I wasn’t lacking in compassion like she thought. I understood her actions were less out of malice than fear. “You should come by the set some time.”
“I . . . would seriously love that,” she said.
I knew she would. Tiffany lived for that kind of stuff, and I was pretty sure the possibility of that was a small part of why she’d come tonight. It didn’t matter why, though. I was glad she’d made the effort.
As she picked up her bag, I stood. I went to hug her, but she wasn’t expecting it, and we did a back-and-forth maneuver while Corbin chuckled. I hugged her more tightly than I meant to.
“I still need time and distance,” she said, “but I . . . you haven’t, like, lost me. Not forever.”
I swallowed. Maybe I hadn’t been fair just now. Maybe Tiffany really had come to see me—and not just on TV. “Same here.”
Once she’d returned inside and Corbin and I were alone, I said, “I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”
He just shrugged, leaning on his knees as he laced his fingers together. “Yeah.”
“But I feel like she’s gotten more empathetic. Maybe it was going through the miscarriage. Or I guess I just haven’t seen her in a while, and we’ve both matured.”
He nodded at the ground. “Yeah.”
A moth fluttered around the overhead light. I was rambling. Corbin and I had talked about most things under the sun, but we rarely discussed love. Anything to do with Manning, or Corbin’s feelings for me, we pretended didn’t exist. The longer we sat that way, though, the harder it became to ignore the ebb of Corbin’s normally sunny disposition. “Is something wrong?” I asked.
He looked through the sliding glass door at Sean, who was checking out Tiffany’s ass as she walked away. “That guy, Lake? Really? In his crusty leather jacket, not understanding half of what’s going on around him?”
“It’s nothing,” I said. “Easy. Sean and I—we’re just having fun.”
It took a little bit for him to respond, but for Corbin I had time. I waited until eventually, his blue eyes found their way to mine. I started to smile but stopped, sensing this wasn’t a happy moment. “Why not me?” he asked.
