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“I understand.” She sounds defeated, like she truly thought I’d be into this idea.
No woman will force me to cross my boundaries like that, especially her. The fact that she even asked doesn’t settle well with me. It makes me question our relationship even more. We don’t live in the same town, she’s always working, and when she isn’t, she’s hanging out with someone other than me. For all I know, she’s already seeing other guys.
“I was only offering the option because I don’t want to hold you back in any way. I’m the one who’s too busy to hang out, and I feel guilty that I can’t give you more time and attention. But if you’re fine with how things are right now and seeing me sporadically, then I am too.”
“Okay.” That is all I can say.
“Are you going to be up for a while?”
“Nah, I think I’m gonna take a shower, then go to bed. I’ve had a long day.” It’s not lost on me how quickly she changed the subject.
“Oh okay. I’ll text you tomorrow. Good night.”
“Night.”
After the call ends, I lean my head back on the cushion and stare at the ceiling. This is the first time we’ve disagreed on something, and I don’t like the way it makes me feel.
While I want to trust Raelyn, part of me knows she’ll do whatever she wants regardless of whether I agree. There’s no way I’d ever find out if she did cheat, and the fact she mentioned this right after telling me she’s going clubbing in a big city leaves me even more concerned.
At this point, I don’t know what to do and need time to think.
Maybe it’s a good thing she won’t be here this weekend.
The last time I saw her was at the hospital when Hendrix was born. I haven’t found it to be an issue that we don’t get together that often, but maybe it is. We text and chat often and have had phone sex a few times over the past few weeks.
My thoughts are all over the place. I don’t want to hold her back if she wants to be with other people. If all the signs point to this not working out between us, why am I so dead set on staying with her? That’s the question I need to figure out the answer to. I’ll give her a chance to prove herself, even if my heart is wary.
Since my chat with Raelyn earlier this week, things have been distant between us. We’ve texted back and forth a few times, but she hasn’t offered to call me, and I don't have anything to say. We’re in a weird limbo right now, but it could just be me. I’m trying to shake off this feeling. I’ve reminded myself that one disagreement doesn’t mean it’s over, at least not yet.
But if I ever find out she’s cheated, I will break up with her without a second thought. She knows exactly where I stand.
After my shift, I go home and take a shower. I couldn’t stand the way I smelled and needed to wash the sweat off my body. When I step out and dry off, I slip on some joggers, then go to the kitchen where my leather working supplies are laid out. I do some research online about hand binding paper because I’d eventually like to start making my own journals too. Before I get too lost in a rabbit hole, I check the time and call it a night. It’s nearly nine, and I’m actually pretty exhausted after the day I’ve had.
Just as I’m turning off the dining room lights, I hear a light knock on the door. Confused, I move forward and look through the peephole to see Ivy standing there. Loose strands of hair have fallen out of her ponytail, and she nervously tucks the corner of her bottom lip inside her mouth as she waits for me to answer. A lump forms in my throat as I admire her under the glow of my porch light. Before she knocks again, I undo the deadbolt and turn the knob.
“Thank God you’re home,” she says breathlessly.
“Prayers answered.” I laugh, surprised but also very happy to see her. “Everything okay?”
Her eyes wander up my pants and trail their way to my mouth. She unapologetically drinks me in, and I actually like the heat in her gaze. It has me smirking as I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for her to speak.
“My car won’t start,” she explains.
“Did you walk here in the dark from the warehouse?” I ask, stepping outside and looking around to see if she’s alone.
“Yes, but it’s fine. It’s not that far, and I had the flashlight on my phone if anyone was driving down the road. Honestly, I walked without it, though. Vega was too gorgeous.”
