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Mom shrugs as she puts a generous dollop of pimiento cheese on a sandwich. “So sweet of you, Teddy, but you know how I feel about leaving a key for strangers. I had to work that day—”
“Why didn’t you tell me you had to work?” There’s that anger again. My family makes helping them so difficult sometimes. “I could’ve rescheduled the service, no problem. You need help.”
Smiling, she comes over to the table to gently elbow me in the ribs. “And you need to relax. Sit, sit! The girls and I made an extra-large batch of pimiento cheese and peanut butter kiss cookies, just for you.”
I get that weightless feeling in my chest again. I catch Birdie’s gaze across the kitchen and she cuts me a look, eyebrows raised. See? It’s not all bad.
It’s just mostly bad. Which is why I’m here.
I’m here to take care of everyone. Once I’ve fixed what needs to be fixed, then I can start my own life. Get married. Make some babies. I see my buddies pairing off and starting families, and I wouldn’t mind doing that too. There’s no way I could swing it now, though. Not when there’s so much to be done for this family—the one I was born into.
Sometimes when I’m up late and can’t sleep, I worry I’ll never have the time or money or bandwidth to have my own life apart from Mom and my sisters. I worry I don’t deserve to.
“So when are you gonna introduce us to all your fancy friends down in Charlotte?” Ava asks as we sit down to eat. “I go out a lot uptown, you know. South End too.”
Shaking my head, I bite into my sandwich. Fuck me, that’s good. “One, my friends may be fancy, but they’re also freak shows, so you’re never going to meet them. And two, are you using your fake ID to go out uptown? Because last time I checked, you weren’t twenty-one yet.”
“Last I checked, you were my brother, not my dad.”
I glance heavenward. “RIP, Daddy.”
Mom nods as she points at the sky. “Amen. We miss you, Jeb.”
“So much,” Birdie adds, sending a smile my way. “But how lucky are we to have Theo here to help us out?”
“Someone has to kick y’alls’ asses,” I reply.
Ava shakes her head as she reaches for the plate of cookies Mom set in the middle of the table. “Daddy never kicked anyone’s ass.”
It’s true. My dad was a saint—kind and patient, if not the world’s best decision-maker—and his passing was hard on all of us. I would’ve moved to Charlotte the day after the funeral, but by the time I got everything lined up work-wise, this was the best I could do.
“So,” Mom says brightly, an obvious bid to change the subject. “What do y’all want to do today? Birdie is home from college and Theo is home from New York, and I feel like that calls for a celebration.”
“Let’s go to the mall!” Ava says.
Birdie shakes her head. “What about a bar? We could go somewhere with outdoor seating and food for the kids.”
“You are a kid,” I reply. “Plus it’s forty degrees outside and we’re supposed to get rain. Bars are out.”
Shelby gasps. “I know! Let’s go line dancing!”
Mom claps her hands. “I love that idea!” She and Dad used to go line dancing every weekend while my grandparents watched my sisters and me. It was the one fun thing they did.
“Coyote Joe’s has lessons on Saturday,” Shelby continues. “My friends went and said it’s the most fun thing ever.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Is it?”
Coyote Joe’s is a local Country Western honky-tonk that’s been around forever. It’s a little shady and a lot kitschy, but it can be fun with the right crowd. And if it keeps my sisters away from guys like Brixton, I guess I’m in. I don’t hate dancing. In fact, I used to really enjoy it. Still do at the occasional wedding I attend. But over the past few months, life hasn’t offered many opportunities to shake my ass in a safe environment, i.e., away from people I work with.
Speaking of—no one from the bank would be caught dead at a place like Coyote Joe’s. There’s no risk of running into someone I don’t want to see. Which is perfect, as I like to keep church and state strictly separate. Porgeous is the only one of my friends and colleagues who’s met my family. It’s not that I’m ashamed of Mom and my sisters. But I’m a completely different person around my family than I am in the office, and I don’t need my coworkers to think I’m some kind of sentimental softie. I’d get run right over by clients and coworkers alike, taken advantage of left and right.
And yeah, I’d like to cut loose a little. Cut a rug, as Daddy used to say. Maybe that’s what I need after the hellish week I just had. Fun never hurt anyone.
