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I don’t. But I want to. And I just might, later. When we’re back in bed and her body’s wrung out from the good, hard fuck I just gave her.
I can’t wait.
“I told y’all, Brixton has a real medical condition!” Shelby whines.
“He doesn’t,” Ava tells Nora with a roll of her eyes. “He’s just a jackass.”
Nora shoots me a playful look. “I’m an expert at dealing with jackasses if y’all need any tips.”
“We need all the tips we can get,” Birdie says with a laugh. Then she loops her arm through Nora’s as the music dies down and Waylon tests his microphone. “Let’s go dance, shall we?”
Nora wiggles her shoulders. “Let’s. I’m so excited.”
“Why does Birdie get to be best friends with Nora?” Ava asks with a frown. She scurries ahead to catch up with them and loops her arm through Nora’s too. Shelby isn’t far behind.
“Give her some goddamn space! She needs to breathe,” I call after them.
“All good!” Nora says over her shoulder. She’s smiling about as big as I am right now.
Seeing my sisters fight over who gets to dance next to her gives me happy feeling in my chest. So does seeing Nora laugh when Ava whispers something in her ear.
Mom nudges me with her elbow as we follow them onto the dance floor. She wiggles her eyebrows. “So she’s the one, huh?”
My heart drops. I nearly trip over my own feet. “Jesus Christ, Mom. I bring a girl around once—”
“This is our second time meeting Nora, remember?”
“First time was a fluke. Point being, Nora and I, we’re not even really dating yet. I mean we are. Kind of. There’s just so much we still need to figure out . . . work, what people will think . . . I have to think about y’all, obviously, because you’re my first priority . . .”
Mom looks at me. She’s wearing that secret smile again, her expression bright.
“Mom,” I say slowly. “You look like you have something you want to say.”
She curls an arm around my waist and pulls me in for a side hug, resting her head on my arm. “You’ve always put so much pressure on yourself, Teddy. And I know it’s because you want to do right by us. Right by your family. Especially after your daddy died.”
I swallow. Waylon’s starting the lesson by leading everyone through the steps of a dance we started to learn last time we were here, and I can’t help but notice how cute Nora looks as she mimics his movements. Her face is a mask of concentration, tongue caught between her teeth, thumbs hooked in the front pockets of her jeans.
“You gave up a lot for me,” I reply steadily. “And you need the help.”
She gives me another nudge so I look down at her. “Everyone needs help, even you.”
“Mom,” I repeat.
“No, son, listen. You haven’t brought someone home to meet us in years, which means Nora is special to you. Maybe it’s time you made your life your first priority. Your life with someone like her.”
My throat tightens. “But how? How do I do that? I feel like I’d be leaving you and the girls out at sea without a lifeboat.”
“Give us some credit,” Mom replies. “We’re adults. Well, mostly. It’s going to be a long road to get Ava and Shelby there, but I’m working on it. If you go live your own life, we’ll be okay, I promise. It’s not like you’re going to totally disappear anyway. You love us too much, and I’m starting to think Nora just might too. You just don’t have to spend all your time and money on what we need. It’s time you focused on what you need. And it looks like you really need to be with Nora.”
“But Dad”—I swallow—“wouldn’t be selfish like that. His family always came first—”
“And that’s the way he wanted it,” Mom says, smile softening. “But what he’d want for you is to put yourself first. We weren’t able to do that for long enough when we were young, and we worked hard to make sure you and your sisters could. It’s okay to be selfish sometimes. In fact, selfishness can serve you when it’s done right, and it’s always right if it makes you happy.”
I blink, hard, my temples thumping as Mom’s point hits home. I always thought I was doing the right thing by giving back to the family that gave me so much. But she’s right. At what point do I absolve myself of that guilt—at what point do I put down that obligation—so I can stop denying myself happiness? So I can build my own life? Make my own relationships a priority?
I’m so hard on myself that sometimes it seemed the answer was never. I felt like I owed my parents and my sisters everything forever and ever. I could never repay them for the sacrifices they made to get me where I am today.
