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I want to watch Hocus Pocus with Shelby. I want to go bra shopping with Ava, and I want to help Birdie figure out what she’d like to do with her life now that she’s about to graduate from college. I want Ree to teach me how to dance.
I want to be part of Theo’s world. I might want that even more than I want MD.
“Next time,” Theo says, rising. “Come on, y’all, it’s getting late, and I don’t like you driving in the dark.”
I get to my feet, but Shelby visibly deflates.
“Next weekend,” I say quickly. “Why don’t we plan on a sleepover then? We can get in our jammies, order in food, and watch that new Sandra Bullock movie.”
Ava gasps. “The one where she’s a romance novelist and Channing Tatum is her cover model?”
“Yes!” I say. “I think we can stream it now, right, Theo?”
He’s looking at me with a funny gleam in his eye. “I think so, yeah. You sure about this?”
“Of course I’m sure.” I grab Ree’s hand and help her up. “I’m already looking forward to it.”
“Me too!” Shelby throws her arms around my neck and wraps me in a tight hug. “It was so fun hanging out with you today. I have your number, so I’ll text you about next weekend.”
“Can’t wait.”
We spill out onto the sidewalk, and he gives Birdie a goodbye peck on the cheek before reaching for me, slipping an arm around my waist.
It’s dark, but the street is packed. Anyone could see us right now. I should panic. Pull away.
Instead I melt into the casual caress. How could I not? The night is frigid, but Theo is big and warm. He curls me into the bulk of his body and I close my eyes and inhale his scent. This is perfect.
Today—tonight—it’s perfect. My heart is swollen with all the affection I’ve witnessed. Experienced. I’m drowning in it, and I let it pull me under.
It’s obvious Theo loves his family deeply. He says his sisters and mom are a hot mess, but they’re good people. They’re very much aware of the sacrifices Theo’s made on their behalf. They appreciate everything he’s done, but they don’t expect him to give up his whole life to provide for them. They really do just want him to be happy.
I glimpsed it before, but I understand fully now why climbing the ranks and making tons of money means so much to Theo. If this were my family, I’d want to provide for them too.
I’d want the best for them.
He just wants to do right by the people he loves. And there’s no better reason for a promotion than that.
Chapter Thirty
Theo
“Dude, I’m fucked.”
Porgeous cuts me a glance over his shoulder as we glide out onto the Catawba River. It’s early, just past dawn. The air is cold, but I’m already sweating through my shirt and shorts.
“In a good way?”
I row harder, setting a faster pace, hoping the burn in my legs and arms will overpower the ache in my chest. “Good. Bad. Both.”
“I’m listening.”
“You have to swear not to tell anyone.”
“Stick a needle in my eye and all that stuff.” He means it. Porgeous and I have been friends for over a decade now. We’ve done some dumb shit and made some bad choices. But he’s always had my back, and I’d trust him with my life.
I still don’t feel great telling him about Nora. But I need some advice, and I don’t know who else to turn to.
“I’m in love with Nora Frasier.”
Porgeous drops an oar. I grab it just before it slides into the river and is gone forever. He turns around to face me, the boat dipping side to side before settling. His eyes are wide. “No shit.”
“Nobody wanted it to happen,” I growl. “Trust me. It just did.”
“I’m . . . happy for you I guess?”
I give his arm a shove as we drift farther out on the water, the rising sun glinting on its surface. “I want to make it official, but she’s scared. Which I get. But I’m already tired of sneaking around and staying shacked up all the time.”
“Okay,” Porgeous says. “So what’s the play?”
I tug a hand through my hair. “This promotion we’re both going for—I think I have to take myself out of the running.”
Porgeous is staring at me again. “Okay,” he repeats, more slowly this time.
“When we first met, I thought Nora had the biggest stick up her ass.”
“I remember.”
“But now that I’ve gotten to know her . . .” I rest my chin on my shoulder and look at the naked trees bordering the nearby bank, the ground all bright red Carolina clay. “She’s not at all who I thought she was. And I understand in a way I didn’t before why getting promoted means so much to her. She’s going to change the world, Porgeous. She’s driven and she’s brilliant and she’s just . . . yeah, gonna make shit happen. And I don’t want to stand in her way.”
