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I’ll never be the man Cass looks at like I’m her everything.
Damn the fucking stomach lurches. I head out onto the balcony for another cigarette.
Cass
I should be happiest woman in the world. Fuck the sadness like a shadow down deep. It’s not important. Not anymore.
I’m sitting in the car next to the man I’m devoted to, heading over to my hometown to celebrate my engagement, and my future is glowing bright ahead – marriage, and beautiful children and a gorgeous house on the hills. Everything I could ever wish for.
I told Janie I was leaving Wedding Bliss by text message and got a string of what the hells in return, but I focused on my engagement ring instead of my resignation. That seemed to be enough to drown out the quitting work news a little – at least for now.
“How long are we staying at Mum and Dad’s?” I ask Ant.
“Only one night, baby. We have things to get back for.”
It’s a shame we won’t be staying longer, but I don’t question him.
The ideas are already whizzing around my mind for the big day when I walk up the aisle. What should we go for? A big marquee? A lovely rural wedding venue? Hell, a castle? I’m a princess with the greatest array of options there could be. But I know where I want to be. I’ve known it down deep for years, despite the grand fantasies.
I want to get married in Bucklebury, with my family and friends all around me. I want to walk down the aisle in the chapel I grew up around, and who knows… maybe even Bucklebury Hall for the wedding reception, keeping it as traditional for my family as it can possibly be.
I’m nervous and excited when we pull into my parents’ street. Tears are already springing up as Ant takes my hand.
“Here we go, sweetheart.”
Holy shit. My parents have banners over the front door and balloons tied to the front gate. They race out with Sarah, Dave and Harry, all of them jumping up and down with cheers as we pull up in the driveway.
I’m pulled into a cocoon of arms and kisses, everyone ecstatic, and my heart is soaring along with theirs. Even my dad has tears in his eyes.
“Am I going to be a page boy?” Harry asks.
Ant answers him first with a ruffle of his hair, and it’s Ant Harry’s looking at, not me.
“Sure are, little guy. We’ll get you the coolest suit there is. You’ll be a superstar, my mini right-hand man.”
Harry beams so bright that it makes my heart race, and Sarah’s smile is just as magical as she pulls me in for another hug.
“My God, Cass, I’m so happy for you.” She hugs Ant right after me. “Thank you for giving my sister her dreams. She deserves them.”
“Yes, she does,” he replies and his eyes are so full of adoration that I fight back a fresh round of tears.
Mum and Dad have more banners and balloons inside, and a celebration cake on the dinner table. They let off a load of party poppers as soon as we’re all in through the door, streamers going everywhere, and I’m jumping up and down with them, caught up in the crazy excitement.
That’s when the focus of the attention gets serious.
My engagement ring.
Everyone stares as I show it off proudly. Mum and Sarah’s mouths are literally open in shock at how stunning it is in real life.
I still can’t believe it’s mine.
Ant shakes Dad’s hand and thanks him for his blessing, and they both look so proud as they stare over at me.
“You’re very welcome, Ant. Very, very welcome. You’re everything we could ever want for Cass. Everything.”
Yes. There’s no denying it now, shadows inside be gone. Handing in my resignation was a good idea, even in the saddest of circumstances. Ant means more than any career ever could. Our future family means more than any individual dreams.
Mum and Sarah have made us a buffet lunch with awesome party food. I grab a sausage roll and some fancy biscuits, laughing as I munch them along with everyone else.
Dave has made his cheesy twists – Harry’s favourite – so my gorgeous nephew is munching them down with yums as we all tuck into lunch. I can only imagine how incredible it’s going to feel when I have a child like him for myself one day.
“We’ve booked the safari,” Sarah tells me on a side note. “Don’t worry, though. We’ve booked it for the end of the year so it won’t interfere with your wedding plans.”
I haven’t made any, so I look at Ant.
“It’ll be this summer, won’t it, baby?” he asks, although it’s a question that doesn’t need an answer. I’m sure he’s already got some firm dates in mind.
“Yeah,” I say with a grin. “Just so long as I get the chance to organise it well enough.”
