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Self-consciously she turned her back to him and dressed.
“Ready?” He wouldn’t look at her. More doubt and uncertainty battered her weakening confidence.
“I guess.” Her stomach hurt at the thought of leaving things this way.
She should say something. What if they walked into that hall and never spoke again? She couldn’t let that happen.
When he twisted the lock open, she shoved a hand against the door. “Harrison, wait.”
He paused but didn’t turn to face her.
“Look at me.” She could feel walls going up, and she didn’t like it.
He met her stare and she swore she glimpsed fear in his eyes.
“I don’t need anything from you, but I’d like your respect.”
He exhaled and looked away. “Sorry. I… I’m not good at this.”
“Good at what? I told you, I don’t expect this to change anything, but let’s at least be real enough to acknowledge that it happened.”
His jaw ticked. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Then don’t.”
“I also don’t want to lead you on.”
She slipped her body between his and the door, forcing his full attention. “Look, I liked what happened tonight. I’d like it if it happened again. The only thing I ask is that we don’t lie to each other. Okay?”
“I’m not looking for a relationship.”
She nodded, fine with his honesty. “Okay.”
“But I’d like to see you again.”
She smiled, a bit of her uncertainty fading. “I’d like that, too.”
“You’re sure you’re okay with that?”
She laughed. Did he not realize she enjoyed what they had done as much as him—if not more? “I’m definitely okay with that. But if we’re going to make this an ongoing thing, I’d prefer it if you didn’t hook up with other girls.”
“Deal.”
Her smile widened. “This is the part where you kiss me.” So he did.
* * *
Mariella had walked into that room a girl and left a woman. Being with Harrison was an education in so many things. He changed her, and she liked to think, on some level, she changed him.
They never got around to labeling their relationship, but they continued seeing each other for nearly two years, until the day he disappeared. She spent months wishing she could go back to their last time, thinking of all the things she could have done or said to make him stay.
Now, after so many years, she believed there was nothing anyone could have done, but part of her still wondered. No matter how many times reality crushed her, there was a gullible little girl inside of her who still believed she could persuade him not to leave.
The adult in her felt sorry for that vulnerable girl. She knew reality would return like it always did and crush her. Any foolish dreams once again ripped away. But there was nothing to save the romantic in her from hoping. She simply loved him too much to ever willingly let him go.
CHAPTER 17
Harrison texted Mariella to let her know that he needed to run some errands and would meet her at the hardware store after she finished work. She breathed easier knowing he was no longer at the hotel.
During the meeting with Mauricio, Mariella kept the conversation centered on business, avoided all topics of tropical getaways, and pretended the awkward exchange in her office that morning never happened.
After all collaboration projects were underway, she spent the remainder of the day reviewing the budget. Or so she pretended to as she stared at the computer screen and tried to strategize ways to avoid having her heart ripped out again.
If she was going to help Harrison, she had to apply some boundaries she could actually honor. Or, at least, apply some strategies so she didn’t instantly sabotage herself.
Sleeping with him had been a mistake. A delicious, heart pounding, orgasmic mistake. She had to find some self-control. She really loved butter pecan ice cream, but she’d be the size of a house if she ate it all day every day. Harrison was just a sexier butter pecan. She needed to think about the consequences and protect her future self from the foolish choices of her present self. Too much self-indulgence often ended in regret.
From here on, she was placing herself in a metaphoric chastity belt. She would be stronger. Firmer. No man was her kryptonite.
There should be no easy access skirts or sexy attire whatsoever. She wasn’t sure what he was doing at the store, but she was available to help him—not sleep with him. Her focus needed to remain glued to the objective. All she had to do was remove any source of sexual tension between them.
In theory, this sounded well and good, but in reality, she knew she didn’t stand a chance. And the more times she bent the rules and gave in to temptation where Harrison was concerned, the more she wondered if anything could truly be wrong if it felt so right.
