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I should probably head to Mara’s apartment and take it easy, but I can’t. With everything that’s happened, it’s been too long since I’ve visited my mom, and although she isn’t sharp most of the time, at least I know that she has my back, all of the time.
Right now, I need that kind of clarity in my life.
I head over to the residential home and find her in her room overlooking the garden. She’s sitting in the sun, enjoying the view, as usual.
As I pause in the doorway, Joanie, the nurse says, “She’s a little tired today. I don’t think she slept well last night.” She goes in. “LeAnne. You have a visitor. Your daughter.”
My mother turns around, face blank.
It’s like she’s never seen me before.
Sadly, I’m getting used to that look.
But right now, it’s okay. I don’t need discussion, someone to solve all my problems. All I need is a sympathetic ear.
I pull up a chair beside her and take her hand. “Hi there.”
I wonder if she’ll be agitated, the way she sometimes is when she doesn’t recognize me, but instead, she smiles pleasantly. “Hello. That’s a nasty bruise.”
“I had a car accident. But I’m okay, nothing to worry about,” I say lightly. “Just a fender bender, really.”
“Oh, that’s good. Are you one of the nurses?”
“Yes,” I lie. “A volunteer.”
She nods, looking out the window again.
I sigh. Caleb is the reason my mom is here at Meadow View. He made sure that her bills were not only paid in full, but he somehow secured her the nicest suite in the place.
It’s why I know, deep down, he’s a good man.
“I don’t get it,” I murmur, almost to myself. “Sometimes I think our bond is so strong. That I mean something to him. And then he goes and pushes me away. I have no idea what to do. Am I just kidding myself? I always thought I’d be better than this, pining after a man who seems so cold. Whenever my friends would do it, I’d think they were crazy, but here I am, doing the exact same thing… But once I’ve known a love like his, how am I supposed to settle for anything else? How can I just move on, knowing that we could be happy together, we could have everything, if only he’d just trust me and let me in?”
I’m so busy staring out the window, trying to find the answers somehow in the Zen of the outdoor garden, that at first, I don’t notice my hand being squeezed.
When I look back at my mom, her eyes meet mine, lucid.
“Does he know what you want?”
I stare, stunned. She heard all that?
Then I realize that she asked a question.
“Um…” Does he? “I don’t know. I mean, I think I made it pretty obvious when I told him I loved him, but I didn’t outright say—”
“Men can be fools when it comes to love. But if he’s what you want, then you have to follow your heart. Fight for him, Juliet.”
Juliet. She used my name.
She hasn’t used my name in… Well, I can’t remember how long.
But can I do that? Can I make him see we belong together? Would he even let me?
I lean in close to her. “Mom. I don’t know if—”
She smiles and pats my hand. “I know you can. I always thought you could do anything.”
She did. My mom was always my greatest champion.
