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“Or because you didn’t want me?”
“God, Luca, I want you more than anything.”
“Then why did you do it?”
Nox shifted his weight like he was about to turn away.
Luca grabbed his hand. “Tell me.”
For a long time, Nox stared at where Luca touched him, then slowly closed his fingers, sealing their grip. “Because I love you. Because I want what we have to mean something.”
“You don’t think it means anything?”
Nox brought Luca’s hand to his lips. “I do. It’s just… I want to give you more.”
“Maybe I don’t want more.”
“You deserve more.” He let Luca go.
“When we first started having sex.” Luca stroked the rough stubble on Nox’s chin. “You said you’d never be able to be with me as a man.”
“The Anubis won’t let me.”
“Yeah.” Tears burned Luca’s eyes, but they were for the man in front of him, not for himself. “And nothing has changed about how I feel. I love you. I love you no matter what. Even when the Anubis is at its worst, I still love you.”
Nox wrapped his arms around Luca and pressed his face into Luca’s neck. He combed his fingers through Nox’s short hair and kissed his temple.
A knock sounded on the side of the trailer.
Nox tensed.
“It’s okay.” Luca stepped back. “Who is it?”
“Isaiah.”
Of course it was.
“What do you want?”
“I have something to talk to you and Nash about.”
He probably wanted Nox gone. When Luca had asked about them staying, Isaiah’s hesitation had been clear. Luca knew the only reason he’d said yes was if he didn’t, Luca would have slept in the woods with Nox. Rain or no rain.
“You want to hear what he has to say?” Luca petted Nox’s chest. “We don’t have to.”
“I know. But we owe him at least a few minutes of conversation.”
In Luca’s opinion, it depended on what came out of Isaiah’s mouth.
“We’ll be out in a minute,” Luca said.
“I’ll wait for you at the picnic table,” Isaiah said.
Luca dressed and went outside with Nox.
Isaiah sat at one of the picnic tables closest to the trailer. Fatigue made bruises under his eyes. The usual rose in his cheeks had faded with his complexion, leaving his skin paper white.
“Are you sick?” Luca had the insane urge to go around the table and touch Isaiah. Instead, he sat next to Nox.
