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Chapter Thirteen
Eli looked over the list and couldn’t believe how long it was. Sure enough, everyone on it had been cast away, let go of their leadership and forgotten in the anecdotes of time.
He crumpled the paper in his fist and felt like crying. There was nothing to be done. The same wheels carried the wagon on and on, and though they sometimes broke, the spokes were replaced, and the wagon carried on once more.
He took a walk in the beautiful yard, sitting on a bench now and then, when he’d find one. It was like a secret garden, separate little areas that were different but flowed from one to the next.
To have such beauty in a corrupted, stinking place, it amazed him. Each tiny flower, every leaf was a living thing, able to survive through storms and heat and there he was, feel his life wane.
Maybe it wasn’t his life, but it was what made his life worth living. Hope. Everyone needed hope, but the longer he worked for Lee, he lost more of it until he was barely clinging to the last.
“Mr. Bloom,” Mars said as he rounded the corner of the walkway. “The senators are going on recess soon and transportation to their home states is being coordinated. Senator Madison wants to know if you were going with him or would join him soon after.”
He had known about the recess but didn’t make any plans about it. “I’ll go with him. My roommates had to fill my room.”
“Sorry about that, Eli,” he said sincerely. “Is there anything I can do?”
“No, Mars. I didn’t want to keep paying rent there for no reason. I’m saving my money now, just in case.”
“In case Senator Madison makes good on the threat to call in your debt.”
“Yes. Mars, I’m not doing any good here. I’m not making a difference, and to tell you the truth, I think if I did, I get him in trouble. That list…Mars, everyone that has tried to go against the party, everyone that has stepped out of line or made the mistake of being caught being gay or in any other way different, they’ve been shamed and left public life. Whether they left on their own or were pushed out, I don’t know, but I can guess.”
“I understand what you’re saying, Eli.”
Mars sat near him on the couch, picking up the crumpled paper and straightening it again. He saw some of the names and knew Eli was right, but others, well… “Sir, let me make some calls. I know it seems pointless, but if everyone had given up through the centuries, we wouldn’t have electric lights or the written word.”
“You are more optimistic than me, Mars, and that’s a miracle, being here.”
“No. I see more than you think, and more than you do. There are real people here, Eli. Real hearts that care. Sometimes, they make a difference before the city can jade them.”
“And after that? Any redeemed?”
“A few. There are success stories. The old boys club doesn’t want you to know about them.”
Eli had never known he could have such an ally there, in that house. Mars had become that for him, and without Mars, he’d have never made it.
Lee didn’t go out and speak to protestors again, but he didn’t shy away from them either. The next day, they went to the senate and Eli watched as they passed lines of protestors near the capitol.
They flew signs high in the air, rainbow flags draped around their shoulders, pain and anger covering their faces. In the very air, there was an ocean of pain and fury. More than them, though, Eli watched Lee, wishing he could read the man’s mind. There had to be turmoil there, and somewhere inside him, he had to feel the betrayal.
He ordered their lunch before noon, had seen seven visitors to Lee’s office, all of them old men in either his party or the opposing party, trying to get him to come to an agreement on some legislature.
Nothing was done that day of any importance, but he did speak favorably with the opposing party. Of course, it was on a bill that really didn’t matter to anyone Lee would have to answer to.
Three more days like that, with him staring at the protestors, nothing coming from him or his party except doubling down on the gay community being predators. That was their new take, that all members of the LGBTQIA community wanted to molest or convert the nation’s children.
Eli laid awake long into each night, wondering how he could still be there. Fuck the student loans, the slight chance he could change Lee for the better. There was nothing for him there except money.
He was heartbroken to realize about himself that the money kept him there.
On the plane, as they were heading back over the country to get to Lee’s home state, Eli felt deflated, like a birthday balloon three days after the party was finished. He had nothing left to give, nothing left to feel. Even his anger was muted.
When Lee started to speak to him, he expected to feel some of the fight come back to him, but it didn’t. Partly because Lee’s words were true.
“We have to have laws, Eli. Maybe what this has twisted into is a shadow of what it was supposed to be, sure. But we need the government, and we need laws.”
“So much for being free,” Eli croaked as he held a book up, pretending to read it.
